I wish I could pinpoint where it all went wrong.
I wish I could tell you that I forgive you.
I wish I could take back some things that I did.
I wish I didn’t get a flashback of memories that take me right back to when we were together.
I wish things didn’t end like they did.
But it is what it is.
And honestly, there’s nothing I, or you can do to heal what we were.
You know how when you're in a relationship and you take a bunch of cute pictures together and everyone around you thinks you're happy based on those pictures you just took?
Well, the reality is that their perception is wrong, way wrong.
I remember taking a lot of pictures with you and I also remember what was going on before and after the pictures. And let me tell you, pictures aren't always what they seem. When I was with you, our pictures showed how we thought of each other, but they didn't just show the fight we just had or the hurt I felt.
Pictures, love, they all blind you.
But who am I kidding?
I thought you were the guy of my dreams.
You know how you make someone up in your mind? Like the perfect guy that you want and you believe the guy you may be with is exactly the "prince charming," you have always wanted? Well, so you thought.
But then you find out it really wasn’t the guy you thought he was, but for some reason, you think you can change them into being the guy that you want. To be the perfect guy for you.
You see the dilemma?
You can’t change someone into someone they aren’t.
That was my problem from the start. I thought I could change him into the man I wanted him to be, however, I found out, the hard way, that people only change if they really want to change, but in most cases, they are who they are, set in their ways.
And the person who I thought the person was, was really made up in my mind. You see, I created him to be something that he really wasn’t. And it honestly wasn’t fair to him. I wanted him to not be who he really was.
I wanted him to be my "prince charming," but he could never be because it just wasn’t him. I would get so upset at him for things that just wasn’t in his character. I liked the outdoors and liked hiking while he would rather be inside playing video games. We were complete opposites. I would get so angry at him for just being him.
I wasn’t mature enough to see that I trying to change him into somebody that he wasn't.
I mean he did try to change some things, but it ultimately ended up not working because he was who he was. And honestly, it was vice versa. He created an image in his head of what he wanted me to be and I would never be the type of girl that he wanted. I could try to change, but he wanted me to change to into someone I would never be. It wasn’t fair to either of us.
Nobody should ever have to change for someone else.
When you really love someone you love them for who they are and only try to make them better with what they already have. Once you start trying to change them that means it's time to let go.