The last few months have been a vast mixture of emotions. I’ve learned that it is time to stop taking somethings for granted and how precious our lives are. We spend our days at work or in a college classroom. We get caught up in a busy schedules, that we forget about the important things. Those things just completely pass us.
Our individual lives are so beautiful and amazing. Memories and moments are circling around us and at this point in my life, I need all of them.
Over spring break, I was down in Gulf shores, Alabama having a wonderful time with my friends when I got a call from my mom that my grandmother had passed away. I remember sitting up from my bed staring outside at the blue sky and feeling the tears wash down my face. I was speechless. I was confused as to how something like this could happen. Yes, people pass, but she was the most perfect human being on the planet, and knowing I would not get to kiss her goodbye or embrace in one of her gentle hugs ever again broke my heart. I left the trip early to fly to upstate New York to attend her funeral with my entire family. As I watched her descend into the ground, I hated myself for not calling her more often or visiting her. My heart was broken knowing I had missed so many more moments with her.
There are days when I imagine being there to tell you goodbye. It would for sure make knowing and accepting you being gone a lot easier. There are other days that I realize I would be beside myself and unable to remind you I love you and I'm thankful for everything you are to me.
When times like this happens, its important to do what makes you happy. Even though you lost someone that meant the absolute world to you, thinking back on the good times and the memories that make you smile from cheek to cheek is what is important. Hold onto the memories that make you grateful that you were blessed to know them. We sit here, thinking that the world is over, but the world is just getting bigger. Take the things you learned from that loved one you lost, and make yourself bigger and better person in their name. When people ask where you learned that from, or where you got those skills, or anything else related, you can proudly tell them you learned them from someone you wish they could’ve met.
Life is not easy. I learned that pretty quickly, but if you have the strength and are willing to put forth the effort to continue on, life will get better and you will be proud of yourself for pushing yourself to that point. We were not put on this earth to sit around and pout, we are meant to go out there and make a change. We are meant to go through hardships and shitty times, but in the end. It will all be worth it when you can look back and say, I made a difference because someone I lost, told me so.
