17 Things You Know If You've Survived An Iowa Winter

17 Things You Know If You've Survived An Iowa Winter

The most wonderful time of year, no?

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I apologize for any Iowa winter inaccuracy, I have not lived in Iowa for nearly five years now and you know..global warming and stuff. Winters may not be exactly the same.

1. Your garage or back porch serves as an outdoor fridge

Every family party we had, drinks were always in the garage or out back.

2. More snow means less mud

Dog owners will appreciate this. Your pup may be covered in snow flakes, but at least that is simply frozen water and not mud. Like i am dealing with here in Missouri, where it just rains and gets cold so my dog is wet and muddy and we are both irritated.

3. Snow Days are actually snow-filled days

Here in Southwest Missouri I'm all for class being cancelled but like if there is no snow or ice, please dont waste my time?? At least in Iowa, snow days are actual snow days. where you had better hit the grocery store before being stuck in your home till the streets are cleared.

4. Dry Skin. Dry Hair. Dry Everything.  

So much lotion, so much chapstick, yet still the cold will dry out my skin and leave me cracked and sad.

5. Your morning routine revolves around defrosting your window & warming up the car

You need to wake up like fifteen minutes early when you park your car outside. Turn it on, scrape the window, run inside and proceed to get ready for the day.

6. Odds are your dad has taught you a thing or two about car control while driving in bad winter conditions

Snow day? You mean driving lessons in an un-plowed parking lot? Turn into the fishtail, pump the brakes.

7. Accurately gauging the temp: Take the outside temp and subtract 30.

You may be thinking "what, why?" The wind! You have to take in account those Midwest winds, duh. The kind of wind that makes your car swerve a little when it gusts across the road.

8. Clearing your driveway too early into a snowfall and wasting all your effort because you just have to clear again when it finally stops snowing

I have done this before. You start shoveling the driveway because you know dad will ask you to later, and your out there while flakes are still falling. Two hours after you finish it will look like you never touched it!

9. Winter Emergency Car Kit 

It can be a little scary having to drive through snowy or icey conditions. It's good to keep a blanket, gloves, hat, scarf, flash-light somewhere in the car just in case. The last thing you want to be is slid off in a ditch with a totaled car and nothing to stay warm.

10. Having a friend with a snow plow attachment to their truck is the ULTIMATE connection

Why shovel your driveway when you can pay a pal in beer to clear it for you? Iowa currency = Busch Light

11. The entry way to your home is trashed during snowy months

Salt, melted snow, mud, and everything else that gets tracked in with snow boots. the floors by your front door are just a lost hope until these snowy months are over.

12. Shoveling part of your yard so the dog doesn't go potty on the porch or driveway 

Especialy with smaller dogs, unless you want them going potty on the porch, it is necessary to clear some snow off the grass for their little legs to go about doing their business.

13. Wearing multiple pairs of pants, socks, and gloves, just to go play in the snow

Now that I'm older it confuses me how much joy was brought from sledding that ended with snow in your pants and your fingers being numb.

14. You probably have at least one injury story of slipping on ice at some point

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My earliest memory is from when I was in kindergarten, I remember walking into school with my mom and slipping on the ice in the parking lot. Totally busted open my knee.

15. Losing power in winter conditions is like starring in your own apocalypse thriller

Is my phone going to die? Will the house stay warm enough? Will we freeze to death before the power returns?

16. The swarm of people at the grocery stores before a big storm

It sucks but you have to endure it. There mass of people are all here for the same reason. Know the layout of your store, make a game plan, and get in and get out.

17. Ironically, the big snow storms always arrive on Friday. Just to ruin the weekend 

Maybe it's some type of worldwide karma, but storms seem to always roll in Friday evening, so you cant cancel school but you have to cancel plans. Thanks for that Mother Nature.

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8 Reasons To Love Winter

Because it really is the most wonderful time of the year
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Temperatures are dropping and the potential for snow is in the air. Winter is probably my favorite season, and for good reason, too. Not convinced of this? Here are eight reasons to love Winter:

1. Snow

Snowball fights, snow forts, snowmen, sledding. Plus, there’s nothing more beautiful (and Instagram worthy) than that white powder completely covering all of nature.

2. Sweaters

Sweaters are my favorite article of clothing for a reason. Not only are they warm and cuddly, but throw in an ugly Christmas sweater, and you’ll be the life of the party.

3. Snow Days

There is literally no better feeling than having to wake up early for class only to realize that it’s cancelled.

4. Sports

Sledding, snowboarding, curling, skiing, cross-country skiing snowmobiling, snowball fights, king of the hill, ice skating, hockey, ice fishing.

5. Fireplaces

Coming in from the cold, curling up in a blanket and reading a book next to the fireplace? That’s what I call a perfect Sunday afternoon.

6. Hot Cocoa

Milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, peppermint. Whichever way you drink it, there’s probably a hot chocolate out there with your name on it.

7. Christmas

No explanation needed.

8. Jesus

He’s great all year round, but there’s something special about the whole Advent season that takes place during Winter.


So don’t be a cotton-headed ninny-muggins. Go out and enjoy the best season of the year.

Cover Image Credit: Bustle

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Saying 'Thank U, Next' To Winter

Seriously, warm weather can't get here soon enough.

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With spring break coming up in the next few days, all of us Midwesterners are surely dreaming of sunnier days. When the sun comes out, smiles come out with it! Here are 10 reasons I'm ready to say "Bye, Felicia" to the dreary winter months and "Hey Sisterrrr!!!" to spring and summer.

1. Layers on layers on layers

I am so tired of having to put on 15 billion layers just to go to class! I definitely took the days of walking to class in gym shorts and a t-shirt for granted.

2. Dry skin (Yuck!)

I feel like no matter how much I hydrate and moisturize, the second I step out into the cold, my skin cracks! I know sweating isn't much better, but at least I'm not itching dry patches all day long.

3. Hat hair for days

Do I disappoint my mom by not covering my ears when I go to class, or do I disappoint my hundreds of fans on the quad by wearing a hat over my wonderful hair? Just kidding! Disappointing my mom is not on the agenda, so hat hair it is!

4. Walking to class in the arctic tundra

High schoolers: trust me when I say, the walk from the parking lot to the building is nothing. Leaving my dorm to walk across the quad always makes me wonder: is the degree even worth it, dawg?

5. Pedicures are pointless

As much as I love buying myself new boots for the season, I firmly believe that life is better when I'm wearing flip flops. I mean, what's the point of paying money for pedicures if I'm just gonna hide them behind some boots?

6. Iced coffee, sans judgement

Do I still get iced coffee during the winter? You bet your mittens I do! But when warmer weather rolls around, I can get it without being looked at like a crazy person on the quad, and that makes it a whole lot better!

7. Frozen cars and angry drivers

First, having to defrost my car makes me angry. Then, having my car not start makes me angry. Then, slow drivers and icy roads make me angry! All in all, winter drivers are the worst. In summer, rollin' with the windows down, music blasting: that's bliss

8. Snow isn't magical anymore, it's just slush

In November, whenever it started to snow, we all got excited and ran to take pictures. Now, it's all slushy and dirty, and when there's snow in the forecast, this GIF is how I feel.

9. The whole campus, like, always has the flu??!?!

Especially living in the dorms, the tidal wave of sickness is inevitable. And as soon as one person gets over it, another one catches it! Wash yo hands, people!

10. The billions of bruises from the icy sidewalks

Yeah, we've all seen someone do this exact dance on the way to class, haven't we?

Winter, it's been fun, but I think it's time for you to go.

The beginning of winter taught me love, with the pretty snow and holiday cheer.

The middle of winter taught me patience, with the slushy streets and jam-packed traffic.

The end of winter taught me pain, with the agony of waiting for spring to arrive.

And now, if only spring could come, I could say, "I'm so amazing!"

Stay warm and stay healthy, Midwesterners. Warm weather approacheth, I can feel it!

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