Whether you are from Mississippi, or just the general South, I'm sure you can relate to at least one of these points. Us Southerners are often made fun of, but I think it's time that we acknowledge and celebrate our backwards culture and our distinct accents!
1. If your iron is also an urn.
This is an iron urn. You're welcome.
Believe it or not, Southerners have really charming accents. Though my accent isn't as thick as many of my fellow Southerners, it took me 15 years to realize I was saying iron incorrectly. I always pronounced iron as urn. "I have to urn my clothes," or "I have to earn my clothes." I wonder if people knew what I was saying.
2. If you omit the "g" from gerunds and present participles.
I'm not really sure why we do this, but we just really don't like the letter "g" unless we're talking about guns or God. Okay, I'm just buying into Southern stereotypes, but really we just got really lazy. "I'm runnin' to the store to buy an urn really quick."
3. You've evolved to breathe in 100 percent humidity.
"Yes. We are indeed mermaids living among humans. . . What gave it away?"
You're basically a fish. If you're not from the South, you have two options: evolve or buy an oxygen mask. The heat is literally suffocating. If you have curly, spongy hair like me, every time you walk outside, your hair soaks in all the moisture, and it's left frizzy and best of all, wet. Am I venting? Maybe. Yes. Yes, I am.
4. If you've had multiple hospital trips due to leather car seats grilling your buns.
Not those. . .
I cannot tell you all how many times I've hopped out of a seat because of its annoying grilling features. The hospital trip for toasted buns may be a joke, but that doesn't mean it isn't a real issue.
5. If you developed superpowers at a young age.
You know exactly what I'm referring to. Yes, I'm talking about heat waves that you alone have the ability to see.
Maybe I was just a really vain child, but I thought no one else but me could see those heat waves.
6. When giving directions, literally everything is "around the corner."
Southerners have a thing for giving directions according to spatial order.
"To get to Joe's house, ya'll are goin' to go down the road, and it's around the corner from the church with the urn fence around it. I think there's a brown puppydog in yard."
7. If a five minute delay is serious traffic.
Outsiders joke about how slow paced our culture is. There's a lot of truth to it, yet we are just as impatient as any other American. We don't really understand what real traffic is, but we sure do get upset about the five to seven minute delay on 4th street around 5-6 p.m.
8. If most of your local commercials are random advertisements by car salesmen.
These commercials usually involve monkey suits, yelling and small children. They're so bad, yet they are so captivating that viewers cannot help but watch in amazement... or amusement.
9. If even the flies get invited to the cookouts.
Though this was originally a tweet I posted, I felt like this was too amazing not to be featured. Flies are just expected to be at any family gathering just like Spades and hot dogs.
10. If you know what a puppydog is.
"I don't know why they still treat us like puppies. We're puppydogs now, gosh!"
Southerners have coined the term puppydog. A puppy dog is any canine in between the ages considered for a puppy and the adult term, dog. This term can also be used as a term of endearment. "Awe, look at the cute lil' puppy dog!"
If you're not already a lover of Southern food or culture by now, I'm convinced something is wrong with you. We may talk a little funny and our deciduous forest biome may be trying to exterminate us, but we -- at least I, wouldn't trade it for any other place!
To you Yankees that think you know everything about Mississippi, I promise I'll prove you wrong. Follow my upcoming articles. I'm going to teach you all about the real Mississippi. If you are a see-it-to-believe-it type of person, just catch the next plane here and experience our rich culture, good food and charming habits.
