I remember the first time I saw you like it was yesterday. At first, I didn't even think of you as a potential boyfriend.
When I came to New York the only thing I wanted was to get to know the sister I never had but reality kicked in and everything turned out differently. I didn't plan to fall in love with you but I did.
You weren't like your friends. You were born into this society but you never wanted to be a part of it. At least that's what you told me when I met you. We shared the same interests, we liked the same books and I guess that's what made me interesting to you. I liked you for who you were and not for the money. I genuinely cared about your feelings, I wanted to know everything about you.
You once told me that you fell in love with me because I never tried to be someone that I'm not. But that's a lie. When we met I didn't care about any of it. I was never the most popular girl in school, nor the prettiest, and I never cared. But that changed once I was with you.
You fell in love with me because I was different but you still tried to change me. As much as you loved that I wasn't like your friends you were afraid of what people would think - what your parents would think. You liked my opinion but not in front of others. You liked my open mind but only when we were alone. I could go on but in the end, it doesn't matter.
And for a while, I tried. I tried to be that person for you - the one that supports your dreams and shares your interests but shuts her mouth the second we're not alone.
You may love me but I guess you love the idea of me more than you love me. You were interested in me because I was unlike any other girl you knew. But in the end, I guess you didn't want different.
I love you. I really do. But I can't be someone that I'm not and I won't change because if I would I wouldn't be the girl you fell in love with anymore. I hope you find a girl who is everything I can never be.
I wanted to make this work but more than anything I want to stay true to myself. I genuinely hope that we can stay friends but if not that's okay too.
Yours truly,
The girl you wanted but couldn't handle.
