Maybe it wasn't just you. Maybe it was a hurricane of disappointments and you were that last storm which pushed me to my breaking point. You built my hopes up so high, that when you let me down it was devastating. All I know is that the way you hurt me was unlike anyone who had ever hurt me before.
You completely destroyed the belief that I held so subconsciously and deeply, that it took someone to hurt me as bad as you did for me to unlearn it. I always somehow believed that someone could bring me all the love and happiness I could ever dream of. I always believed that someone could save me from myself. That's all a ridiculous fantasy to me now. I am the only one who can save me from myself and all of my demons. I am the only one who can give me true happiness and love. When you left me and I hit rock bottom, you helped me swallow the bitter pill that at the end of the day all that you have is yourself.
I have changed so much since I knew you, that I think I would have to reintroduce myself to you if you ever saw me again. The person you knew is dead and gone for the better. When you betrayed me so deeply that I lost trust in others, I learned to trust in myself. I don't look for any external validation anymore. I am independent and I don't care what anyone thinks. I finally put myself first and put my foot down once and for all. No one will ever treat me badly again because I got my own back. I have full confidence in myself. I am here for me and I believe in her with every ounce of my being. I'm not in a rush to find someone new because I am so content to be in my own company... I guess you could say I'm aloof now, the way you like. I never needed you to have a good life, but it took you leaving for me to realize that.
Ironically, a lot of things you didn't like about me are different now. You never liked how I was so easily affected by others, that I cared so much, and the way I was insecure. When you said that you would leave me knowing how to love, I never knew that meant that you would end up teaching me how to love myself. Congratulations on making me become the person that you would have loved to see, but you will never know her.
