"I hope one day you will realize I did truly care for you. I promise you, you're going to miss me being there, putting up with you, and refusing to give up on you. You're going to regret everything you done to me, including all the damages you caused. someday, you'll look back and wish things would of been different. I might of been worthless to you, but I am a great value to myself."- unknown
June 3rd was the first night we officially met. I thought you were perfect! I thought we would be together forever we talked about our future and being together till the end. I loved getting the good night/morning texts. I would stop everything just to be with you every minute I wasn't at school or work. But I thought wrong when I thought you were perfect.
I should of ended things the first night you called me and said “ I have to tell you something but I don't want you to hate me” then went on saying that you got chased by cops and almost got arrested. But I didn't leave I thought I could change you, make you a better person. You told me you didn't tell me you robbed people when we met because you didn't want me to leave. But by the time I found out I was so far in and so attached to you that I wasn't going to leave you.
I changed when we dated everybody could see it but myself. My friends said you were no good but I ignored them. Their comments were irrelevant because “ I loved you.” You put me in situations that I would've never thought I would have to face. I spend so much time, money, and gas on you. I brought you things and drove you and your friends around. I never got any of that gas money you all said you would give me. But I didn't care because I was helping out the guy that claimed to love me.
You hurt me not physically but mentally. Even when you cheated on me then had the girl you cheated on me with at your place the next day when I was there I stayed. Even when you called me all those mean names I stayed, even when I had to pick up you and your friends at 3 am 2 hours away ( because you robbed somebody and got shot at) I stayed, and when you went to jail for 3 months I stayed. I ask myself why I stayed with you after everything you put me though but It was because I cared about you a lot, I loved you and you loved me right?!
I still remember the day I was at work and detectives showed up and asked me where you were. Yes, I told them where you were because I didn't want to get sent to jail for the stupid choices you made. I remember getting a phone call from you that night from jail and you saying how much you loved me, that you hope I stick with you, and to try and bail you out. Those next 3 months of my life were hell I would visit you almost every Saturday if I didn't work, I waited by the phone until I got a call from you each night, I didn't go out unless I went to school or work because since you were in jail “ you thought I needed to sit out and not have any fun”. It didn't make such sense since you were the one that was in jail not me. But I loved you so I did what I was told and waited by my phone hating life.
Not everything with you was bad though I met a friend that told me that I shouldn't put up with your crap. She was going through the same situation as me so she helped me realize that I was worth more than you, that I had a lot going on with my life, that you were going to be a felon for the rest of your life and that I could make a change in the world. She was right!
It took me awhile to tell you that it was over and no I didn't move on right away. I would still answer your call from jail and think about you everyday. Once you got out of jail we tried to patch things up and make it work. But we were both on different paths in life plus I moved 2 hours away and you didn't have a license. I knew we wouldn't work out but you would take NO for an answer. I would get countless texts and calls from you and you wouldn't leave me alone. You told me everything was my fault I knew it wasn't but I started to believe for awhile, you told me if it didn't work with " us" then I would never find anybody, that nobody would love me. But now I know you just said those things because you didn't want me to leave even though it was best for me.
Breaking up with you was one of the best decisions I've made in my life so far. I realized that I can be independent and I don't need a guy to be happy. I gave you so much love and can only image how much love I can give to the right person. I don't regret being with you because you showed me that I deserve more than what was given me, that I'm worth more and I won't settle for less. But until then I am happy to be on my own till the right guy comes along.
