You Have Left Me No Choice

You Have Left Me No Choice

I didn't want to walk away and lose this friendship, but you have left me no choice.

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I never expected our friendship to be in this spot. I never expected to not have talked to you for months. Yet here we are, and everything keeps getting worse. I've tried to talk, help you, to understand, but I can't keep trying if you're not willing to fix what needs to be fixed on your end.

We started out so strong. Just two girls in college trying to learn how to do life as an adult the best we can. We laughed, sang, danced, and made some incredible memories that I will always remember. I hope you will remember them too. I constantly think back to try and figure out where things went wrong.

One minute you are helping me get through my mental health issues and help me get back up on my feet. The only person who could make me laugh and get me out of bed was you. The next minute, it is as if I am below you. That whatever I say, you don't need to listen to.

I appreciate everything that you have done for me and would've done for me. Never, ever doubt that. My loyalty to my friends is one of my best strengths. I can say that confidently because I know it is a fact.

I know, because I have been here before. Last time, I hurt myself by letting my "friend" treat me like crap and everyone else around them. I didn't stand up for myself or anyone else they were hurting. Now I am finally in a great place, so I can't let that happen again. I will not let that happen again.

I want to know what happened. I want to know what changed. I have heard for years, since we became friends, not to be friends with you from other people. I'm not going to lie. That made me feel bad for you because I had been in your shoes. People I thought who were my friends told others not to be friends with me.

It's not fun, but I grew from that. I let people see who I truly am, and I feel as though you're still hiding. For what though, I will never understand. I chose to be your friend, I chose to get to know you and all of the wonderful things we got to do together. When it came to others though you became someone completely different. Like you were trying to prove yourself to someone.

I stayed true to our friendship even when it became grey, and I lost touch with some of my other friends because they didn't want to be around your negativity. I couldn't see what they saw then, I do now.

It became hard to be around your negativity, and it was every time I saw or hung out with you. It is draining listening to the same complaints all of the time. There is nothing positive, and I can't have negativity in my life anymore if I want to stay in my healthy positive mindset.

My sweet girl, you have imploded on yourself, and I need you to wake up so you can see what you've caused. This lava is getting hotter, and you're pushing more and more people away.

I wish nothing but the best for you, I always have. I know I have said some things to you that you are mad about. I was blunt, and I will not lie about that. I have always been honest with you. Someone had to finally say something.

I had others thank me for speaking up because they could've never done what I did. My only regret is that I didn't get to do it in person.

You are hurting. I know you are, and I have tried for so long to help you realize what truly matters. Let the little things go sweet girl, and see the bigger picture. How you communicate with others is the most important thing.

I never want you to be alone, but that is where I see you're heading if you don't wake up. It is scary asking for help, and admitting when you are in the wrong. I know because I had to do it to help myself.

My speeches, advice after advice, and listening to your ranting sessions are over. You are not listening. You say you are, but your actions speak louder than your words. Believe me or not, I still worry about you.

The minute I sent you that message, calling you out on your behavior towards the people who care most about you, I cried. I honestly did. I knew I crossed a line that would become extremely sensitive.

The lava is still running and it has been months. Are you tired yet, sweet girl? Are you seeing a connection of why everyone is walking away? Please tell me you do because I am afraid I can no longer help you.

I want you to find yourself, and only yourself. Who are you? What do you truly want? Let the ashes fall and start reconnecting the bridges you've burned. Hopefully one day I will get to be a part of that process. Unfortunately, that can not be right now. I can't be the one to help you anymore. I didn't want to walk away and lose this friendship, but you have left me no choice.

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The Truth About Young Marriage

Different doesn't mean wrong.
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When I was a kid, I had an exact picture in my mind of what my life was going to look like. I was definitely not the kind of girl who would get married young, before the age of 25, at least.

And let me tell you, I was just as judgmental as that sentence sounds.

I could not wrap my head around people making life-long commitments before they even had an established life. It’s not my fault that I thought this way, because the majority opinion about young marriage in today’s society is not a supportive one. Over the years, it has become the norm to put off marriage until you have an education and an established career. Basically, this means you put off marriage until you learn how to be an adult, instead of using marriage as a foundation to launch into adulthood.

When young couples get married, people will assume that you are having a baby, and they will say that you’re throwing your life away — it’s inevitable.

It’s safe to say that my perspective changed once I signed my marriage certificate at the age of 18. Although marriage is not always easy and getting married at such a young age definitely sets you up for some extra challenges, there is something to be said about entering into marriage and adulthood at the same time.

SEE ALSO: Finding A Husband In College

Getting married young does not mean giving up your dreams. It means having someone dream your dreams with you. When you get lost along the way, and your dreams and goals seem out of reach, it’s having someone there to point you in the right direction and show you the way back. Despite what people are going to tell you, it definitely doesn’t mean that you are going to miss out on all the experiences life has to offer. It simply means that you get to share all of these great adventures with the person you love most in the world.

And trust me, there is nothing better than that. It doesn’t mean that you are already grown up, it means that you have someone to grow with.

You have someone to stick with you through anything from college classes and changing bodies to negative bank account balances.

You have someone to sit on your used furniture with and talk about what you want to do and who you want to be someday.

Then, when someday comes, you get to look back on all of that and realize what a blessing it is to watch someone grow. Even after just one year of marriage, I look back and I am incredibly proud of my husband. I’m proud of the person he has become, and I’m proud of what we have accomplished together. I can’t wait to see what the rest of our lives have in store for us.

“You can drive at 16, go to war at 18, drink at 21, and retire at 65. So who can say what age you have to be to find your one true love?" — One Tree Hill
Cover Image Credit: Sara Donnelli Photography

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Summer And Jobs

Working summers doesn't have to be tedious.

Aasayed
Aasayed
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Like many other college students, I was ready for summer but was kinda bummed that I had to work. Its not that I didn't like where I was working, I actually was really lucky to be working in a hospital environment but I just hated being alone all summer from 9-5. I've had this job for a few years now and a few other paid interns came and went but I never really connected with any of them. This year is different though.

I got really lucky to have another intern work with me that was very similar to me. The tasks we got were always simple but they were made to be more fun because I got to do them while talking with someone else. Now I actually enjoy and look forward to going to work.

The key to finding a good job is finding one that you enjoy doing and one that will help you gain knowledge that will help you out with future career plans. Working with friends also make tasks enjoyable! I would be careful with working with your friend however because if your job needs you to be serious and focused, being around your best friends may distract you from that.

Another thing that definitely makes summer jobs more enjoyable are taking breaks! It is your summer vacation after all! I'm not saying don't take a day off just to sit around, but if you make plans with family and friends, take a Friday off and enjoy the warm weather and good company! Employers understand that us college students and on break and have lives, they are usually very lenient with days off!

If you have to do a summer job to make money to live off of or pay for college, the best thing to do is look at the big picture. If you don't enjoy your job but can't afford to quit, remember that the money if going to help you out a lot. Also, this job is probably only for the summer right? So it's not permanent my friend! Get through these annoying few weeks and you will be back at college, taking steps for a bigger and brighter future.

Summer jobs are tough, I know, but make the most of it! And don't forget to enjoy it whenever you can!!!

Aasayed
Aasayed

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