You got pretty dresses and hair bows that matched. Family members fawned over how adorable you were. You got told you had rosy cheeks and cute hair. You got pretty dolls and kitchen sets. You got to play mommy, but never doctor. You pretend changed diapers and read about constantly being rescued by handsome men.

You got taken shopping for outfits and to be prettied up. You dreamed of being older, so you could have your hair blown out and your nails done. You got called to help make copies in school, and to help hand out worksheets. You got told at every family event how beautiful you were, and what a beautiful woman you were becoming. You got asked if you had any boyfriends, and how many boys were chasing after you. You were told what an amazing wife you’d make.

You got told what was wrong with you at school, and the things you needed to wear to make it better. You always got called on in English, and overlooked in math. You surprised the classroom with your A in science, but they never seemed shocked when you aced history as well. You got told to hide the body you possessed when learning, because others might get distracted. You got shown that the body you were constantly told to hide was not enough, it needed to be better. You got told that makeup was necessary, and that the pain that comes from heels just makes you tough. You got told that beauty is pain, and waxing plus shaving cuts were just part of the deal. You got told what bras you needed to wear, and how you must always look presentable. You got asked about how you were doing in school, but only briefly, and then it was back to all the boys who ‘must’ be chasing after you. You got compared to the other girls and got constantly rated. You got backhanded compliments and were taught to depend on the joy that came from a real one.

You were taught to spend money on nails, hair, jewelry, clothes, and shoes; even if you wanted to buy a book. You got told you could read a couple books, but that didn’t mean you could abandon the looks you were supposed to treasure. The compliments you always received were about your outside appearance, never your inner intelligence, those compliments always came second, if at all. You got told it was cute when girls played sports, but not when you actually sweat from doing a good job. Sure, the guys think girls who play sports are hot: but only when you come out from a sports game looking like you didn’t even try.

Your brilliant ideas constantly got overlooked by what dress you were wearing. And your supposed attractiveness level always dominated the grades you had worked so hard to achieve. Your breasts got sexualized before you could even comprehend what breasts were, and your body got covered up the second someone deemed you beautiful. You got called a slut in middle school until you realized you couldn’t have male friends without everyone talking. You got labeled a nerd for any knowledge you possessed and were told that boys don’t really find knowledge to be attractive. When you decided you wanted to be a leader, you always got called bossy. You got told to be ladylike, and loudly stating your opinions was definitely not ladylike.

You got told to be pretty, always stand up straight, smile, wear makeup, look presentable, match your outfits, be clean, keep your house clean, always give a good impression, make sure your hair is always neat, and to never let yourself not be perfect. You grew up a girl.