We live in a very competitive society. We see life as an endless race to be the winner and the best. We even compare ourselves to our friends, regardless of whether it is subconscious or not. We feel as though we need to have it all: friends, popularity, looks, intelligence, talent, materialistic items. We associate our possessions and abilities with greatness and success. The attitudes established in our lives dictate how we act or think.
In my high school, everyone compared grades received in each class. The whole school knew who had the highest grades, who was failing a class, and who was the one to beat. Instead of working together and helping each other improve, every individual was on his/her own, looking out for his/her personal interests. The person sitting next to you in class was your competition, an obstacle preventing you from reaching the top. Learning in such a stressful environment put a lot of pressure on me. I felt like I had to put in more hours of studying, more analysis and depth in my assignments, and more focus on my academics. I became a perfectionist in pouring over every minute detail and dissecting everything I did. The smartest students were respected because they represented a way up the ladder of success. The star athletes and musicians were well-liked because their talent was associated with greatness. The most attractive students were admired because their beauty set a social standard that others wanted to reach. And then there were some that had all of the above. I definitely did not have it all.
I see people spreading themselves too thin by trying to do everything and trying to have it all. There's a popular image of a triangle that represents college life with three options: social life, good grades, and enough sleep. It suggests that you can only choose two. In our society, we want all three, and even more. We try to prioritize everything even though we know we can't. We want to socialize by going out at night or spending time with friends, but we lose the opportunity to study or sleep. We want good grades, but we have to sacrifice time doing other activities. It is draining to worry and stress over trying to do everything. It is self deprecating to think about what you lack and comparing yourself to others. It's not possible to be involved in everything and have everything in life. If you try to have it all, you end up with nothing or with disappointment.
We have our own expectations that we want to fulfill, as well as society's expectations. It's crucial to find what is most important to you in life and to stop lusting over the fantasy of having it all. You don't need to have everything to be successful or happy. Having a few of the things most valuable to you is more worthwhile than constantly searching and reaching for everything. We all have our own unique skills and qualities that are significant and worthy. We may not have everything, but we have exactly what we need to be happy and successful in life.
