What’s wrong with being introverted?
I believe that most people are thinking being introverted means quiet and having a boring life while being extroverted gives you a wide connection and a lot of fun. But how can you tell if introverts don’t enjoy themselves? What makes you believe introverts would have more fun when surrounded by a lot of people?
Over years I tried my best to overcome the characteristic that I believe to be my “weakness.” And because they keep telling us, “You gotta hang out with other people,” I talked to a lot of new people, I participated in a lot of clubs, I made tons of new friends. I realize how friendly and witty my friends are. Freshman year, I tried out parties, like any other newbies. My friends kept dragging me to late night parties. I admit the fun of it. But I don’t enjoy being there. I always had to tell myself that I socialized because “responsibility” is to be “sociable.” But I was sarcastically sociable. I knew I was wasting my precious time that I would rather be home studying or reading or watching movies, but I had to keep comforting myself that I was just exchanging with some friendship. But true and long-lasting friendship can’t start from something you don’t feel comfortable doing. Friendship doesn’t start with people who initially are different from you: they are extroverted while I’m not.
One of the myths that people are still assuming is that “introverts don’t have friends.” Of course we do. We hang out with people who share the same interests and characteristics as us. We might not know everyone in class, but our few close friends know us very well and will always be there when we need them. We enjoy being in the same old group of people because it makes us comfortable; we can be our real selves. Introverts don’t hate being around people; they hate being around wrong people.
If you are a true introvert, you would not feel lonely being by yourself and you would not feel sad not being invited to those parties, because you enjoy doing your own things more than being overwhelmed around people. Being an introvert is different from being shy. If you’re someone who is too afraid to talk to your neighbor, struggles making new friends and constant feels lonely having no one around, that’s because you’re a shy extrovert. You’re afraid to step out of your shell; you want to have friends, but you fear you’re not cool enough; you’re scared to speak up and then be judged. An introvert would even be happy when he gets his own self-time and does not have people who aren’t close to him talk to him because he considers that’s “disturbing.” He won’t have to worry about “missing out the fun” when he knows the best that he would not enjoy the event anyway.
You might say, well, extroversion is the characteristic that most leaders must have. Being an extrovert probably means they have higher chance to be leaders but doesn’t mean they can be a better one compared to an introvert. We are quiet because our minds are speaking, not because we are thoughtless. You don’t have to fear not getting a job because jobs that require contacting and making relations are for social people, but there are jobs that don’t ask you to be in public as much, like scientist and engineering. You won’t enjoy your job and won’t use the best of your potential either when it doesn’t fit your personality. If you’re not good at something, find your strength. If you’re not good at communication and public speaking, you don’t have to try for jobs that require those skills. Maybe you’re more prone to creative work.
When I grew over the period of trying to be whatever society expects us to be, I’m just thinking, why push hard to do something that I don’t even enjoy myself, why try hard to be someone else that I was not born to be? I chose myself an engineer-science related major because I know I won’t be good at doing business or economics-related fields because I know with my strength; I would not do well at that work either. This also allows me to be around people who are kinda similar to me, not too active but not too passive, and they dedicate more time to recharge their inner energy.
Don’t do things that you don’t satisfy just because society implants that on you. Even when you’re antisocial, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re antisocial, not that society is anti you. You control your life and you’re happy being alone, so I don’t think anything is wrong with that.
When you know your traits and know how to enhance them, you thrive. When you try to put on the suit that does not fit you, you evaporate yourself.
