Moving into dorms your freshman year is scary, moving into a dorm only months after you were raped in one is even scarier. I got the jitters everyone gets when living on their own for the first time, but there's something in the back of my mind, I don't have the naivety everyone else has. The statistics aren't just numbers for me, they're a part of my life. I watched presentations on consent and saw the kids around me joking around, as if this is a light topic. I felt a deep appreciation that the topic was finally being discussed by institutions but that didn't stop my panic attack when I got back to my dorm, flashbacks so real I needed my roommate to remind me that I wasn't in his room anymore, that I was safe.

I walk the halls at night and I listen, if I see a girl walking alone I'll start a conversation with her just so she doesn't have to be alone. I make sure that if I ever, even have a suspicion that it is happening to someone else that I can stop it, be the hero I never had. The thought of someone else having to live through this makes my blood boil. I won't let these people become a number like I am. I want other people to feel safe, to know that someone is looking out for them.

Feeling safe is hard when you're a survivor; I see the predator in every guy, I carry my pepper spray with me more than my ID, closed doors send me into panic mode. But, I have to tell myself I am safe now, people aren't evil and will help you when you open up to them instead of judging like you expect. I've even met a few survivors, and that's what we are: survivors. I'm not a victim anymore, I won't let him give me that title. I survived and I'll keep on surviving, I will not let what he did define my life. I am more than my rape, I am a student, a daughter, and a friend.

I will not stay silent anymore, I'm speaking out because I don't want to struggle alone anymore. People need to know that this can happen to anyone, its not just the topic of movies. It can happen to your daughters, your friends, even you. Educate yourself and learn ways to make yourself safer. Most importantly, don't be silent. Help raise awareness in any way you can, make sure your friends are staying safe, buy yourself pepper spray. We don't have to be silent anymore.