Many of us have seen Nicholas Sparks movies. We have written "wish-list's" for a future spouse, and some of us may have even found someone who fits their lists. We know how we want and deserve to be treated, but we hardly ever wait for it. We're told we won't ever find the "perfect person," so we settle for good enough in relationships. We settle for petty fights and 3AM booty calls because we think that's what today's relationships are about. We've never been more wrong. What we put up with is what we end up with.
Maybe you have experienced extreme heartbreak by someone you thought would never leave. Maybe you decided to settle with because nobody else proved to be a better choice at the time. Maybe you experienced an intense pain you felt could have only be resolved by God or solitude. You may have experienced many "almost" scenarios, such as "I almost fell in love with him," or "we almost got married." I believe "almost" is one of the saddest words in the English language. All of the "almost" situations seem to make us a little more desperate for actually fulfilling the desires of our hearts, but often with lower standards. We just want someone in our lives who shows us some amount of love, even if it's nothing like we imagined it would be.
It's almost like going to Krispy Kreme to buy a warm and freshly made doughnut, then later going to Dunkin Donuts expecting the same warm Krispy Kreme doughnut. They may look similar on the outside, but they will taste much different. The same goes with relationships. Just because one person may be "good enough," does not mean they are the best for you. Settling for mediocrity has never been the best for anyone.
I settled a few times before, and I am so thankful I didn't end up marrying any of them. I settled for men who appeared to have everything on my "needs" list, so I disregarded everything else. After all, my needs in a man were all being met, right? Wrong. Things eventually fell apart, and I was heartbroken. I disregarded the all-encompassing soul fire I deserved in a relationship. I was settling for Dunkin Donuts. I didn't think I deserved the unconditional love of someone, or even the sweet morning kisses before the start of a hectic day. I didn't think I deserved someone who would tell me "I love you more than I love being right" during a fight. I didn't think I deserved someone who would drive out of the way to make sure I was okay at 1AM. Not only did I think I didn't deserve this type of person, I never thought I would find anyone like that. I settled time and time again because I never thought I would find the type of person who compliments my mind, body, and soul perfectly.
Yet, I found someone. I found someone who put everyone else I've settled with to shame. He's not perfect, but his unconditional love, compassion, and empathy makes me question if my past boyfriends ever loved me. He made me realize the insincere, conditional love they gave me. He made their compassion look surface-level deep. Before him, I settled for Dunkin Donuts. I stopped looking for Krispy Kreme and I convinced myself I was happy, but deep down I knew I was longing for something more. I didn't think people full of unconditional love and support existed anymore- but they do. I just settled for people who didn't care about me as much as I thought they did. Instead of settling for Dunkin Donuts, look for your Krispy Kreme. He or she is out there.
