You Deserve Love Even If You Don't Fully Love Yourself

You Deserve Love Even If You Don't Fully Love Yourself

Whoever came up with that bogus idea needs to check their priorities.


It's a silly phrase that many people are likely to have heard while being single and possibly heartbroken and/or lonely:

"You won't find love from another until you love yourself."

It might have sounded legit enough at the time, and you don't know what else to do, so you take the "advice." As time goes on, perhaps you have learned to love yourself more, but you get hurt once again. If love doesn't come now, will it ever exist in your life?

I've struggled with negative body perceptions and self-worth just like countless other people, but even before those started to pop up, I've always been a hopeless romantic. I mean, when you grow up watching a bunch of Disney movies that ended on notes of happily ever afters with dashing princes, I'm not sure how else I was supposed to turn out. I dreamed of growing up to meet the love of my life, getting married, moving to the 'burbs, and starting a family behind that white picket fence all while working to be awesome in whatever career I would choose to do.

Once I hit the dating age, I was disappointed to find that I was, in fact, not starring in a rom-com and I had to deal with the associated drama. I would become disheartened as many do, and then I would hear that quote again. It's probably the next best alternative, right?

It was difficult, but I began my journey into the world of body positivity and continued to develop my independence which I had always had. It really started to pick up for me once I got to college; I knew my journey wasn't over, but this was the best I had ever felt about myself since the insecurities first started. Surely my love life would follow suit, right? Spoiler alert: it most definitely did NOT follow suit as time would soon tell.

There I was again: at rock bottom wondering where things went wrong and why I wasn't living my happily ever after. My insecurities were definitely still present, but I loved myself overall. Sure, I have opinions about my appearance that come and go, but I knew who I was deep down as a person, and I was pleased with what I found. So why did things turn out the way they did and why did I have to endure all that pain and stress even after taking the "advice?"

Here's the thing about life that you probably already know: it really sucks. It's full of lows and highs that vary constantly; there is no linear timeline because it's full of obstacles, success, and then more obstacles. No matter how you feel about yourself, these things are still going to happen. However, if there's one constant fact in your life, it's this: you deserve to be loved.

I know it's the primary focus of the quote, but I'm talking about more than just romantic love now. Yes, you deserve to be swept off your feet if that's what you desire, but you also deserve family and friends who love and care for you in different ways.

We build these relationships with each other because we desire companionship. We want to talk, laugh, cry, hold, and feel together. We care about the wellbeing of these people, and they care about our wellbeing. However, we're also humans who are not always going to be on top of the game.

You deserve to be loved at rock bottom. You deserve to be loved in the "meh" zone. You deserve to be loved at the tippy top. The people we care about will be there for you no matter how you feel, and you'll be there for them too.

The road to positive self-esteem is a long, treacherous journey, but also a necessary one. If you blindly follow the quote's advice and hold off on external love until you believe you've reached your destination, you'll never find it because no one will ever reach that point (unless you're some sort of superhuman; let's get coffee sometime to discuss your findings).

I'm proud of who I've become and how hard I've worked to get here. I'm so incredibly grateful for my support system who was there every step of the way even when all was bleak. I don't need romantic love for my life to be complete, but that doesn't mean I don't want it. When it finds me, I'll be here still striving for the best I can be, warts and all.

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20 Fun Facts To Use When Introducing Yourself

As we embark on the semester, we are put on the spot in order to share interesting details about ourselves. This article discloses possible fun facts to tell others!

After experiencing my first week of classes, I have learned that every student needs a handy-dandy list of fun facts about themselves to tell other people. Many professors use the first couple of classes to learn about their students, so you may need to think about who you are and how you want to introduce yourself to your professor and classmates. We all have that one go-to interesting fact about ourselves, but sometimes you just have to mix it up!

1. My favorite hobby is...

What do you do in your free time? Personally, I love to stay active! I am a competitive Latin dancer and enjoy teaching and taking Zumba classes, going to the gym, and hiking.

2. I love...

Is there something, someone, or somewhere that you love? What makes your heart ache? What do you miss when it's gone? I can say that I love my friends because I feel my most confident when I'm surrounded by those who love and support me.

3. I look up to...

Is there someone you adore? Who mesmerizes you? Who do you wish to learn from? After watching "A Ballerina's Tale," I discovered Misty Copeland. In 2015 she became the first African American ballet dancer to become the Female Principal Dancer at American Ballet Theatre. Her passion, grace, and strength continuously motivate me to better myself as an athlete and an individual.

4. This art speaks to me because...

Coco Chanel said, "In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different." This encourages me to always follow my heart no matter what. I will never follow society's standards and norms because they do not define me. Chanel's saying definitely influences my character and lifestyle.

5. A funny and/or embarrassing memory of me is...

When you make others laugh they want to spend time and make memories with you! Don't be afraid to embarrass yourself. You will come off as down to earth, easy-going, and loyal.

6. My siblings or lack thereof influenced me by...

I can go on and on about my brother, who is 10 years older than I. We have opposite personalities and despite the age gap, we're quite close.

7. My pet(s) are my life because...

Only sad people don't like hearing about furry creatures, even if your pets are slimy and slithering creatures all human beings enjoy hearing pet tales!

8. I'm afraid of...

Your personality can be revealed by your likes and dislikes, including the things that you fear. I am terrified of change and the unknown, hence, the future is an anxiety-inducing topic to discuss for me.

9. I am the way I am because...

What have you gone through in life that has shaped you into who you are today? Remember to be open minded and allow yourself to open up to your peers. You may be surprised by how others respond and/or what others have endured as well.

10. The most unusual item that can be found in your dorm...

This is a fun fact about yourself that can easily liven up an awkward conversation. Think about your quirks and differences! One item I have in my dorm is my teddy bear, Peter, whom I like to joke is my boyfriend.

11. My dream job is...

In college, "What's your major?" is a widespread question. Nonetheless, skip the boring statement of "I'm majoring in..." and go in depth on what your dream job is (hopefully your major factors in to this dream of yours).

12. My hidden talents are...

Angelina Jolie is a knife thrower. Kendall Jenner can produce bird noises. Amanda Seyfried can crochet and knit. Is there anything special you can do? Some people have rare and unique talents, maybe you can think of some hidden talents of your own!

13. My guilty pleasure is...

I will say it a million times: don't be shy when introducing yourself to new people! I'll start by divulging my guilty pleasure: Youtube's family vlogging channel, "OKBaby"!

Check them out:

14. Some activities on my bucket list are...

This is an easy way to grab people's attention and find others with similar desires as you. Be an adventurer! Go out of your comfort zone!

15. Talk about your best friend...

How would your best friend describe you? What do you love to do with your best friend?

16. Talk about an accomplishment of yours...

You are incredible and have achieved so much! Reveal something that you are proud of — show off a little!

17. This one time at my job...

Bosses breathing down your neck. Curious coworkers asking personal questions. Cursing customers who never leave you alone. Your job can be filled with tons of hilarious situations that can easily entertain a crowd.

18. During the summer...

Any scars with stories? Any summer flings? Any lessons learned from the tanning too long? Now that summer is over, disclose memories that can leave positive impressions on others.

19. I volunteer at...

Do you do any community service? Share a funny moment while you were volunteering. What did you learn while there? Would you continue?

20. [blank] is meaningful to me because...

What do you appreciate in life? What brightens your day? What makes you fall in love? What does someone have to do to make you smile?

Finally, remember to be outgoing! Reveal that three-mile smile and open your arms to learning about others. Spread smiles, love, and happiness.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Not Having The 'Picture Perfect' Body Shape Doesn't Mean You Can't Wear A Bikini

All shapes and size are acceptable and beautiful.


Summer has finally come again and it's now the time where everyone regrets not working out to get their "perfect" summer body. I'm here to say that these summer bodies everyone has been talking about are an unhealthy way to look at yourself and can hurt one's body image. If you're a size zero, that's great for you. If you're not a size zero, that is still great for you. There is no defined size that is required to wear a bikini during the summer, and there shouldn't be these unrealistic society norms on who can and can't wear them.

My entire life I was never worried about my size or how I look in a clothing item such as a bathing suit during the summer. I had always maintained a small figure from being active in grade school all the way through high school. Now that I am in college with no daily or weekly (and sometimes even monthly) exercise routine, I have gained weight and started to feel self conscious in what I look like in certain items that show my stomach. I don't look like the swimsuit models that are posted all over Instagram and started to feel that when summer came along I shouldn't be caught dead in a bathing suit or a shirt that showed any part of my stomach. I was beginning to feel bad about my body image because I didn't have the body shape or size that is considered to be a "society norm" and let it get to me. This is when I knew I needed to change my mindset, and not my physical appearance.

Just because someone isn't a certain size doesn't mean they should be shame into not wearing something they like or makes them feel good about themselves. Summertime is all about being in the sun at the beach or at the pool and getting a tan and getting in the water. This things require a swimsuit of some sort. The size and shape of someone's body shouldn't put a restriction on what type of bathing suit they choose to wear, and no one should comment on how they look in it in a negative manner. For some people, it's hard to lose weight just as it is hard for some people to gain weight. Society is always making remarks about girls being "too small" or "too big" or comments that are similar to those and it's putting a negative effect on how women view themselves which makes it harder for them to have a sense of self love.

Let a woman feel good about herself in what she's wearing no matter her size and leave the rude comments to yourself. Whether she is a size 0 or greater, she is still adding beauty into the world. If you want to wear a bikini, then do it. Don't let the negative people in society harshen your summertime fun.

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