This past year, one of the most influential people in hip hop died, Nipsey Hussle. One thing his long-time companion had said at his memorial was that "You can't possess people, you can only experience them." I don't know why this resonated with me so much, but it did.

People are not meant to be confined or controlled. Love is a choice, not a requirement. I think we have all been at a point in our lives where we have questioned others' roles in our journey. It's not that we don't get why people leave, it's that we don't understand why they wouldn't stay. I personally have struggled in this area, being on both sides of the fence. Being the one who leaves and the one who got left.

I can't speak for everyone but I speak for myself when I say I refuse to be an object. I am not something that is picked up and perfectly placed to fit others' format. I am not an acquisition. I cannot — actually, pause — I WILL not be constricted in any way. I am mine before I am anyone else's. I don't care, you can call me selfish or rebellious, but make sure to call me free.

How much easier would heartbreak, loss, or trauma be if we understood that we can not possess people? If we knew that everyone is on their own path and that crossing each other is a blessing in itself. You don't really value something that you think will be yours forever, but we always cherish things that we know we have on borrowed time. Because it's not that you don't know what you had until it's gone...You knew what you had, you just never thought you would lose it.

I don't want to feel like I am living a cookie-cutter life, bound by unrealistic expectations and ritualistic schedules. I do believe in order, commitment, and relationship, but to the degree of not losing individuality. I don't want to be kept, I don't care to be maintained. I am nobody's possession and no one's pawn. Love is not control but a choice. You can't own a person.

And I think that the right love will come with the freedom to break down walls without building new ones.