Bisexual, asexual, aromantic, pansexual and demisexual are all fairly new words in most people’s vocabularies. They have existed, pretty much, since humans and sexuality have existed but it has not been until very recently that we have words for these concepts.
We are in the midst of a sexual revolution. On every social media site and blog you encounter people who are reclaiming their sexuality. Offline, people are working to ensure that their gender and sexual identities are no longer thought of as taboo. They are proudly using once controversial and/or non-existent terms to describe themselves, meeting people with the same questions and finding answers to all things sexual. It’s a big deal and a beautiful thing.
The solution to the inclusion of all orientations and identifications related to sex and relationships had been the creation of labels. As people realized that the available terms for sexuality don’t describe them accurately, they started to create new words that did. Labels upon labels upon labels until everyone is comfortable with the words they have chosen. I must admit that it’s an odd strategy. Labels can be comforting but they can also be terrifying.
Using words to describe concepts as complex as sexuality, gender identity, romantic orientation and everything in-between can seem daunting to some. It can come across as limiting or frustrating if you don’t fit exactly into the boundaries of something that was created to make sure that more people fit in. Now that different labels are so acceptable, people ask you about them, they’re excited about them and they want to learn. It’s another beautiful thing but for those who are new to the idea of sexual, gender, and romantic options can struggle and feel a need to find a word to describe the way they feel. And with all those labels, it’s pretty much guaranteed that there’s one for you. Right?
Not necessarily. Take it from someone who’s been there. Defining your sexuality and anything remotely related to it is not a step in defining who you are. It’s a process in itself! It’s a journey that doesn’t stop when you say “I’m bisexual” or “I’m heterosexual” or “I’m biromantic but homosexual.” Your sexuality and gender and romantic orientation are yours and you should feel free to put whatever labels on it that you want, or no labels at all. The words that you choose probably won’t affect the way you feel though they may help you understand just one more piece of the amazingly complex system that is you. Brand it, define it, explore it, shout about it from the rooftops and sing about it in the streets! Or, you know, don’t.
I haven’t found a word that fits me best yet. If you haven't found one either, I just want you to know that you can stop looking.
