NP: Get it together - India Arie
Dear College,
You have kicked my butt!
Thanks,
Symfonee
It’s kind of difficult to sum up my experience at Clarkson University without writing a 10 page paper. So here’s my attempt. During my time at Clarkson, I have hit rock bottom numerous times, made huge mistakes, fell in love, and found myself. I mean really, it’s a ridiculous emotional roller coaster. But, at the same time, it is truly the greatest experience of my life.
Entering my freshman year, I didn’t know what to expect. I had traveled six hours away from home to this small, quaint town, awaiting all the cliché college experiences. Anxious doesn't even describe how I felt. That year was filled with many ups and downs. But I can definitely say that overall, it was lots of fun! My biggest struggle was maintaining my grades. I went from being an honor student my entire life to mediocre. It was a reality check and I spent many nights depressed wondering why I just couldn’t get things like I used to. The more that I saw everyone else having the same problems as me, the more I became comfortable with mediocrity; something I regret until this day. I had never been average and I had convinced myself that maybe I actually was and never noticed. I met a lot of great friends along the way, but my roommate and boyfriend at the time ended up leaving freshman year (what a bummer!). This took a great toll on me. I spent most of my time with these two individuals and I lost both of them. Oh, and I was an “average student.” Depression kicked in pretty heavy and I turned to other things to ease the pain.
Sophomore year was a peculiar year for me and many lessons were thrown my way. I managed to work harder and finally made Dean’s List, which made me feel a little better about my life. But I felt empty and cold. I didn’t really care about anyone’s feelings because I felt mine had been neglected. I lost many friends this year. It never occurred to me that hurt people had the ability to hurt others. I was accused of crimes and committed some, too. I often felt the whole world hated me. It seemed like this feeling would never leave and I lost myself. But, I'll tell you this from experience, these setbacks transformed me and just made me stronger in my faith. My mistakes and struggles molded me and the sun surely came out after the storm.
Junior year, I decided to let the past go and it was almost like God sent me an angel, in human form, to assist me during my darkest times. I worked very hard, interned, and made amends with those I cared about. I opted for a healthier lifestyle and ended up getting all A’s that semester. Then, I was granted the opportunity to study abroad in Strasbourg, France. This was a true turning point in my life. I found myself and found peace in being alone. I know, corny, right? But honestly, I was on a natural high. I had been to six countries in Europe when I was 13; then again at 20, I traveled to five more. While in Europe, I meditated and became deeply involved in my faith; it was an enlightening experience. When I arrived home, I received an endowed award from Clarkson and qualified for another scholarship. Summer '16 is definitely blowing my mind and it’s amazing to look back and see how far I’ve come. Now I am preparing for senior year and I have many plans in store for my life. I am ready for whatever challenges are thrown my way.
Moral of the story:
Your journey will not be easy. Never undersestimate yourself! Know that every struggle is necessary for molding you into the person you aspire to become. The sky is the limit!
