When I was five, I wanted to be fifteen, and when I was fifteen, I wanted to be twenty-one, and now that I am twenty-one, I want to be anything other than that. The point is, I’ve never been content with where I am in life. When I was a homeschooled fourth grader, I wanted to go to a physical school. When I was in high school, I just wanted to be in college, and now that I am in college, I just want to be finished.
This mindset can be beneficial. For instance, I have always been a future oriented thinker. I’ve made decisions that have made my future easier. However, this mindset can be a real joy sucker. I forget to enjoy what I have in the now. I forget to see each day for the gift that it is. Ultimately, I forget to be OK with where I am in the path of life. For example, I love Pinterest, but it really doesn’t help my future thinking. We all have those boards where we are planning our future weddings, families, houses, and so on.
I am about 200 days away from graduating with my undergraduate degree. For once in my life, thinking towards the future is a little bit scary. I have no idea where I am going to be in 200 days. Where will I be living? Where will I be working? It could be really terrifying if I really let myself dwell on it.
Overall, I have really loved my time in college. I’ve traveled all over Europe, I’ve taken really interesting classes, I’ve made incredible friends, and I’ve made amazing memories. However, during the last four years, I have felt as though I were in a sort of limbo...a waiting period so to speak. I have been in the mindset that I am in the bull pin of life, waiting to join the rodeo. Afterall, I haven’t found my career yet, I’m not in a serious relationship, my savings account is depressing, and I don’t have a car. But, I have time and flexibility. I can randomly go to Applebee’s with my best friends at 10 PM on a Tuesday night because we want to. I get to spend all the time I want to on my hair and makeup. I have the time and resources to advance myself everyday, I have the time and ability to study. I get to go on short road trips with friends, or to tour the city. When else in my life will I be able to grab slurpees and walk on the bridge with my work friends? When else will I be able to stay up till 4 AM on a project and not have to worry about what my lack of sleep is going to do to those depending on me? When else will I have time to volunteer for several missionary opportunities?
I’m in my twenties, and while I will always have goals and hopes, this is the time to have fun and soak in life. It’s time to wear high heels and hop a car and spend the evening in the city eating gourmet grilled cheese and watching snobby hotel concerts with friends.
Life is now. You are living every day you breathe, and I know that seems evident, but I forget that. I may not be 100% content with where I am, because there are some major milestones in my life that I can’t wait to meet, but this place I am in is short, and it is sweet. Your early twenties aren’t limbo.The stories you’re going to tell your kids will come from this time. Someday, soon, you’re going to be cleaning up spaghetti out of the grooves of a plastic high chair and you’re going to want to be at Applebee’s. Every stage of life has a purpose, and we can’t be afraid to live them to the fullest. So sit back, pull out a Seagram’s “Jamaican Me Happy,” and watch the latest Melissa McCarthy movie with your friends. You’re going to miss this time someday.
