Ah, life. Sometimes, she's amazing. Vacations with family, high school proms, that time you did that thing with your best friend. Those are the memories and events we never want to forget.

But other times, she shows us no mercy. The things we wouldn't wish on our worst enemies end up happening to us.

And those things can be quite ugly.

At 14, I was a product of self-harm and a broken home.

At 15, I was in the hospital receiving a rape kit and writing a formal statement.

At 17, I was kicked out the night before my senior project presentation.

At 18, I moved in with a different family member because the man of the house couldn't stand me.

At 19, my mom chose the man she married over me.

At 20, I live in my own place and don't go home unless I have to.

Life likes reminding us that we aren't in complete control. It throws us curveballs when we least expect it. Those curveballs tend to have a lasting impact on us, too.

They make us who we are today.

We either grow from them or let them destroy us. As we get older, we tend to see the real lesson behind them, but sometimes, there is still an underlying sense of resentment.

We get angry that they happened. Why would someone make me feel so bad about myself that I felt the only way to cope was by physically harming myself? How could my mom choose a man, who isn't even my biological father, over me?

I was so angry for such a long time.

I was furious at the way people looked at me for them too.

It was so hard to forgive some of the people. That anger hung around me for a long time, and some of it still does. I am still angry at myself for some of it. Don't forget, but forgive. Forgive yourself and whoever did you wrong. Don't be resentful.

We tend to hang onto the bad stuff. All the bad things that people do or that happen to them stick with us more often than the good. No one remembers who the smartest kid in class was, but we all remember the girl who was supposedly a hoe.

It's hard to come back from that stuff sometimes. We can't just forget about it like we wish we could. So we have to face it head-on.

Learn from it. Grow. Be better.

You are not what has happened to you.

Whether you brought those things upon yourself or life decided to remind you she's really the one in charge here, they do not define you.

You don't have to be the girl that did this or the boy that did that. It's so hard to remember that sometimes. You might feel like whatever you're going through right now is going to follow you around for the rest of your life, but it's not.

You might feel like you're at rock bottom right now, but in a few weeks, you could be on top of the world. Don't let what you've gone through make you give up.

Let what happened to you be the reason you succeed. You can be whatever you choose to become.

I believe so strongly in this I got it tattooed on my body. Every morning I wake up and look in the mirror and remind myself I am not what has happened to me. I am what I choose to become.

Don't let life make you her bitch. Show her you still have control over your life, and become something greater. For yourself.

You deserve it.