For those of you in a relationship where your significant other makes you feel like you’re anything less than amazing, you need to hear this: you ARE amazing. You DON’T need him/her to “complete” you. And he/she is a jerk.

No one in this world should make you feel anything less than awesome.

I want you to stop and consider why you’re making excuses for this person.

What is it, exactly, that’s holding you back from leaving? I think you’ll find that the answer is really quite simple: you’re afraid of what it’ll mean to be alone for a little while, you’re afraid you won’t ever find anything better.

These fears are legitimate. I won’t minimize it by saying they aren’t. They are because you feel them and it’s okay to feel them. But don’t let fear keep you in a relationship that isn’t healthy and the ugly cliched truth is we accept the love we think we deserve. So to do better, you first have to believe you DESERVE better.

If, when you ask yourself, “When is the last time this person made me feel beautiful, sexy, amazing, and just overall good about myself?” and you either can’t ever think of a time when this was true or that time was so far in the past that you can barely remember it, it’s probably time to go. Seriously. Chuck up the deuces, block him or her on FB, Snapchat, Twitter, and IG, and block his or her number on your phone. You don't need that negativity in your life.

The last thing you’ll want to do is stay and end up in a situation where you’re pregnant (so that this time period goes from just a bad relationship in college that you'll laugh about later to a life-long source of stress), depressed, considering hurting yourself, or being hurt by that person.

Instead, use that as a jumping off point for something far greater. Analyze that bad relationship so that you can recognize warning signs in future relationships. In fact, my marriage now wouldn’t be so amazing if it weren’t for the horrible relationship that preceded it.

Having said that, though, there’s a caution: yes, you had a bad experience, but don’t live in it. Don’t forget it (because you have to learn from it), but don’t dwell on it either and whatever you do, don’t punish the good person who comes along afterward to help you put yourself together (or who just comes along to admire the amazing job you did on putting yourself together solo).

So, my advice?

When someone tells you you’re “nothing,” don’t believe it.

When someone tries to tell you that you’d be nowhere if it weren’t for the "help" they provided during a hard spot in your life, thank them for being there and calmly explain that now it’s time to part ways.

If someone tries to make you feel like you’re not beautiful, you go to that mirror and stare at yourself until you know they're obviously blind or lying.

If someone tries to say that there’s “no one else who will love you” like they did, say, “I certainly hope not – I’m looking for someone who will do it better than you. And based on well you did, that shouldn't be a hard task to accomplish.”

If you’re staying for guilt – don’t.

Relationships are work, yes, but there should be work being done by both people in the relationship. It’s a two-way street. Otherwise, someone is getting a free ride while the other is being taken advantage of by a power-hungry leech.

You deserve better. Just because the truth is hidden behind layers of crap piled there by someone who doesn't know a good thing when he or she sees it, doesn't mean it isn't there trying to shine through.