Statistics on Domestic Violence

• On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men
• On a typical day, there are more than 20,000 phone calls placed to domestic violence hotlines nationwide.
• Women between the ages of 18-24 are most commonly abused by an intimate partner

I normally do not write responses to the news. However, the White House made headlines when Rob Porter, White House Staff Secretary, was accused of assaulting his ex-wives. The person to out this horrific behavior was none other than his ex-wives, Colbie Holderness and Jennifer Willoughby.. his first ex-wife, Ms. Holderness released a picture of her black eye which was caused by her then husband.

Naturally, Porter tried to deny these allegations by saying that it was an “accident.” If I am not mistaken, that is the most common excuse a person will give. “It was an accident,” “I did not mean it,” “I will not do it again.”

What WAS shocking were Kelly Anne Conway and Sarah Huckabee Sander’s responses to the wives, when they came out in defense of Porter or… didn’t defend the victims. Ms. Sander refused to talk about the abuse and said the President wished Porter well for his future endeavors. Ms. Conway was quoted saying the following about Hope Hicks, Porter’s girlfriend: “I'm sorry for any suffering [Porter's ex] has endured, but in the case of Hope, I rarely met somebody so strong with such excellent instincts, and loyalty, and smarts.”

Strong, smart, loyalty, and instinctive. Words that were not given to the ex-wives but Hope Hicks.

Did Conway mean that women who are abused are dumb? Not loyal? Weak? Lack good instincts? If so, I am here to take a stand and say that Conway is wrong.

Women who go through abuse are not weak, dumb, disloyal, or lack instincts. Women who undergo this kind of trauma are loving, kind, loyal, and have good instincts. They are good and educated. Queens, mothers, sisters, women in power. You know who are weak, dumb, disloyal and lack instinct? Men who abuse their wives and girlfriends. Those people take advantage of their significant other’s love and compassion. It is not easy for a woman to talk about domestic violence.

Sure, men did abuse their wives back in the day and it was considered “normal.” As the consciousness of the society grew, more and more people spoke out against it. Kellyanne Conway’s comments are even more damaging to young girls in their teens and twenties. As women, we are susceptible of views on weight, skin color, the way we look, dress, if we are under or over educated. Now, women are listening to the comments coming out of the White House and should simply accept the appalling words from Huckabee Sanders and Conway? How is that right or fair? It is not.

No one, woman or man, is immune to domestic violence. To say that is completely ignorant and false. In a time where women are rising up and standing up against rolling back abortion rights, healthcare and standing up for their rights, these kinds of words are damaging and antithetical to the cause. Women should stick together. We should stand up for ourselves and for each other.

To every woman, you are strong, loved, intelligent, and loyal. To go through the trauma of abuse and escape it, is the definition of strength. To speak out against your abuser is courageous. You are a lot stronger than you realize. Do not listen to voices that say you are weak. To Kellyanne Conway, Sarah Huckabee Sanders and women who defend men like Porter, shame on you.

If you are being abused, please speak up. Your voice and life is valuable. Please contact the following:

The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
If you are deaf or hard of hearing, 1-800-787-3224