An Open Letter To My Lover

An Open Letter To My Lover

You are no longer apart of my reality.
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Dear...,

I am tired.

I am drained emotionally, mentally and physically. All that is left of me is a shell full of disappointment and hurt. And the sad part is I still continuously ask myself, where did we go wrong? How did we even get to this place?

The thought of losing you used to fill me with unbearable pain but now it leaves me wondering. Wondering if having you is even worth what is was? Wondering if maybe we aren't as perfect as we thought we were? Because at this point, the fact that we constantly keep trying to make this to work has turned what we had into a toxic facade of a relationship. We aren't what we used to be.

I no longer look at you with admiration, I look at you with pain. A pain that you have inflicted upon me. A pain that seems to consume me. A pain that although at times seems unbearable, is strong enough to remind me of all the feelings I still have for you.

And the sad part is that I love you. I love you with every fiber of my being, with every part of me that is alive. And yet, you are no longer a part of my reality.

The person who I fell in love with is no longer a part of you. You are literally not who I thought you were... and this saddens me. It saddens me because of what I wanted with you. Because you painted a picture of us that wasn’t even for you. You had me out here thinking that shit was working out but it turns out this wasn't even for you.

But that’s okay... because no matter what I will always be there for you.

And this is where the pain comes from. It's not just about the fact that I love you but more so about the fact that I care for you. Your well being concerns me which is why I can't turn a blind eye and leave you behind. I will even go as far as putting your well being before mine. But no more of that, because I have to be selfish.

I have to come to terms with my reality. I have to finally accept that your love was never for me and it never will be.

Sincerely,

Someone who is finally ready to let go.

Cover Image Credit: Youtube

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5 Perks Of Having A Long-Distance Best Friend

The best kind of long-distance relationship.
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Sometimes, people get annoyed when girls refer to multiple people as their "best friend," but they don't understand. We have different types of best friends. There's the going out together best friend, the see each other everyday best friend and the constant, low maintenance best friend.

While I'm lucky enough to have two out of the three at the same school as me, my "low maintenance" best friend goes to college six hours from Baton Rouge.

This type of friend is special because no matter how long you go without talking or seeing each other, you're always insanely close. Even though I miss her daily, having a long-distance best friend has its perks. Here are just a few of them...

1. Getting to see each other is a special event.

Sometimes when you see someone all the time, you take that person and their friendship for granted. When you don't get to see one of your favorite people very often, the times when you're together are truly appreciated.

2. You always have someone to give unbiased advice.

This person knows you best, but they probably don't know the people you're telling them about, so they can give you better advice than anyone else.

3. You always have someone to text and FaceTime.

While there may be hundreds of miles between you, they're also just a phone call away. You know they'll always be there for you even when they can't physically be there.

4. You can plan fun trips to visit each other.

When you can visit each other, you get to meet the people you've heard so much about and experience all the places they love. You get to have your own college experience and, sometimes, theirs, too.

5. You know they will always be a part of your life.

If you can survive going to school in different states, you've both proven that your friendship will last forever. You both care enough to make time for the other in the midst of exams, social events, and homework.

The long-distance best friend is a forever friend. While I wish I could see mine more, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Cover Image Credit: Just For Laughs-Chicago

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When Everyone Around You Is In a Relationship And You're Still Single

You might feel pressure to start a relationship, but reconsider...

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I'm not sure how or when exactly it happened, but it suddenly seems like everyone I know is in a relationship. While I'm happy for them, it can be kinda...depressing. Nauseating. Exhausting.

It builds slowly at first: the subtle side-eye you give your friend as they're on the phone with their S.O., the little pang of jealousy you get when your cousin posts their engagement pictures on Facebook, the way you feel when your Snapchat Stories are full of people on cute dinner dates.

Suddenly, it's a Thursday afternoon and you just snapped over an Instagram post of your friend and his boyfriend on their anniversary. We've all been there. I may or may not be there currently.

The worst advice you can get when you're feeling down about not having an S.O. is "Don't worry! You'll find someone!"(Especially when it's coming from someone in a happy relationship).

I'm here to give you the actual advice that you (and I) need to hear. You do not need a relationship to be happy, satisfied, or whole.

Here's the truth: you're gonna be just fine without a relationship. You are young. You are educated. You are ambitious and have your whole future ahead of you.

You are a complete person on your own who does not need another person to validate you or make your life worth enjoying. I'm not saying a relationship can't be satisfying and fun. I am saying that being in a relationship is not the end all, be all of happiness.

If you are spending your time waiting for a relationship and looking for it in every person you meet, you can end up missing out on so much of your life. Instead of being jealous of every couple around you and being bitter that you can't seem to find the "right person," try figuring out how to enjoy spending time as an individual.

You will have more time to devote to exploring new interests, developing new skills, and meeting new people. Your social, emotional, and mental wellbeing will become priorities.

Plus, just because you aren't in a relationship or looking for a relationship, that doesn't mean you won't have romantic/sexual experiences. You can still go on dates and develop relationships with people you are attracted to without the pressure to turn it into a serious relationship. Once you remove that expectation from your mind, you might even find it easier to meet, talk to, and connect with people.

When you stop focusing all your energy and hopes onto being in a romantic relationship, you open the door to new experiences, opportunities, and people. Most importantly, you are able to refocus and recenter your life around growth as an individual, which will lead to a healthier and more solid basis for any future relationships.

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