Like the many generations before, millenials will latch onto any type of quote or saying that validates their words, actions, or thoughts. This validation can be beneficial when it supports positive growth and decision-making, and when it reminds individuals that they aren’t alone. However, these “words of wisdom” can often be unconsciously abused when they are used to validate reckless behavior or in an effort to avoid the psychological consequences of an individual’s decisions-such as the voice in the back of your head that tells you don’t do it. Don’t get that tattoo of your boyfriend’s name on your lower back.
Amongst the words of wisdom most likely to be abused include “It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission, " “I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than regret the things I haven’t done," or even our personal favorites, “YOLO” and “No regrets." The problem is that when abused, these quotes support self-centered behavior. We use these quotes as fuel to pursue our own wants and desires with no consideration of the bigger picture, or the consequences that our actions have on other people. In our youth we often feel we are invincible and don’t consider the permanence of any decision we make. Without being aware of these risks, we perpetuate a self-centered mindset and reckless behavior. Consider:
You’re 15 and you’ve just gotten your learner’s permit. You decide to take the car out at night when your parents are sleeping. I’ll just go right down the street, you think. Your younger sibling insists on tagging along, or they’ll rat you out to your mother, so you give in and y’all both load into the car. For a second you consider the consequences of your actions, mom will be really mad at me. But then, I’d rather ask forgiveness than permission. This will be fun. I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than the things I haven’t. This will be a great story for my kids and grandkids! “Well when I was your age, I snuck out of the house with grandma’s car, and your uncle rode shotgun." As you back out of the driveway, you think, what could possibly go wrong?
At 3:00 a.m. your mother receives a phone call. She is notified that she has two children in the hospital, one is in critical condition and she is urged to get there as soon as possible. She goes to grab her car keys and finds them missing. She calls your grandmother for a ride and when she finally gets to the hospital, she’s notified that her children were in an accident, and that her eldest son is now paralyzed from the waist down, and her youngest died just moments ago.
Now imagine asking your parents for forgiveness.
This scenario, while extreme, is meant to grab your attention. Nonetheless, these kind of consequences are realistic and possible. It is necessary that we think of the consequences of our actions before we make reckless decisions just “for the hell of it” or “for fun." It may be easier to get what you want without asking permission, but it sure as hell is not easier to ask for forgiveness.
Don’t get me wrong, these sayings can certainly encourage positive behavior. But honestly, when was the last time you heard someone say “YOLO, I’m going to donate my paycheck to a charity I’m really passionate about today?" You may say to yourself, “I don’t want to live a life regretting all of the chances I never took” but the reality is that you will, more or less, always have an opportunity to take those chances, to do the things you regret never having done. You will not have the opportunity to take back your words or actions and you will definitely not have the opportunity to change the past.
As a generation, it is important to be aware of this phenomenon, to not use these supposed "words of wisdom" as excuses or permission to follow through with reckless decisions, or as a way to silence the voice in the back of our head. Reasons to disobey our parents and even the law. Our actions ALWAYS have consequences, and unfortunately these consequences are not limited to just us. Give that a moment of thought next time you say YOLO.
