One year. 365 days. 525,600 minutes that you have been gone. Not one day goes by that I don’t think about you and wish I could hear you laugh one more time. No part of missing you has gotten any easier. Each time I think about it, I am transported back to the first moments when you left. The tears still run down my cheeks, my lungs don’t get enough air, and my heart breaks into a million pieces, because of you, you were the one who wiped tears away and hit anybody who made them happen.

Without knowing it, you were my protector. You were my shield from everything else in the world. When I was with you, the rest of the world didn’t matter. You meant everything to me. You taught me how to be a good daughter, a respectful young lady, but most of all, you taught me how to love. You taught me that no matter what happens, your family is the one thing that will always be there for you. You were the glue in the family and with you gone, it’s different. But these things, they are about me, and this isn’t about me, it’s about you, Tita.

You were a wonderful woman. You were a loving wife, mother, and I honestly think my cousins and I got the best end of the deal because you were one kick ass grandmother. You taught us all to laugh, and that waiting 30 minutes after eating to get in the pool was just our parents’ excuse not to have to be outside watching us. You shared your love for cooking with me. The day you left sucked so much, but only for us here, not for you. For you, you were finally free.

For months, the sickness ruined your mind and body. It took everything away from you. For months, we never knew if it was going to be a good day or a bad day. On this day, a year ago, we thought it was the worst day yet, but for you, it was going to be your best. It was the day you were free. It was the day that you escaped the darkness and could be yourself again. Now, you can dance in Heaven with Papa. You can cook dinner while he tries to fix something- that probably doesn’t need even to be touched.

The pain we feel and the tears we shed are all for us. What I would give to see you again, but I can wait until it is my time. I wouldn’t wish for you to be here in the pain that you were in. I will wait to see you until I am called to the pearly gates, or you visit me in my dreams. You mean the world to me still and I will never stop loving you. I hope you are having the best time up there, and I know that I have some of the best guardian angels anybody could ever ask for.

Siempre tu niña Tita.