Being in college, a lot of us are at that stage where we learn lessons by failing to properly correct our mistakes.
When we claim that we don't have time in the week (or enough quarters) to do laundry, we actually don't make the practical decision to swap our Saturday night soirees to attend the laundromat. The fact of the matter is, we hold off swapping our dollar bills for quarters, and end up doing not one, but two loads of laundry just at the crack of realizing we have another assignment due on Blackboard.
Me in particular? I spend dollar bills on beauty products that I probably should save so that I can swap them for laundry quarters...
With a single swipe of my credit card, I purchased a 30 dollar bronzer that will come off after a single swipe on your white t-shirt. Being in college, while we're also all on that budget, I don't even think that any of the bills that came out of the dates I went on ever surpassed, let alone totaled to that amount.
I'm single and I'm not necessarily ready to mingle — but I'm more so trying to test how my makeup can really withstand sweat, extreme weather, saucy foods, and powdered pastries. Is it a crime to want a lipstick that holds up well enough so that I can take a selfie holding a half-eaten chocolate dipped beignet without any evidence that I had just stuffed my face like a toddler?
As of right now, I don't treat dates as a trial runs for a new relationship. I date to trial run the products I sacrifice my laundry quarters for (that is partly a joke).
The next date you go on might not involve you playing mouth tug-of-war with a single spaghetti noodle that brings you closer to a smooch with every sloppy slurp, but maybe it will, and you'll find out how poorly your lipstick stayed put after licking the marinara sauce off your lips.
Or even better — as twisted as that may sound — he might say that wrong thing, which will make you want to cry. I have advice for that one:
Run if he makes your mascara run.
Plus, at least you'll know never go back to using that sucky mascara again. More importantly, next time, you won't have to explain to the waiter why you have tree roots temporarily tatted from your under-eyes down to your chin.
Let me repeat: We learn lessons by failing to properly correct our mistakes. In this case, stop seeing a failed date as a failed love life. Do you see what lesson comes out of this? The good thing that may come out of going on a date with Mr. Not A Match is that you can successfully correct your makeup mishaps.
If your eyes become the Great Lakes and your tears carve rivers through your foundation...
Here's the thing, maybe you're using goof-proof mascara that won't give you black streaks, but your tears might carve trenches through your foundation. Well, now you know it's time to try a new setting powder!
Now here's a little wisdom and story time:
Wearing the wrong lipstick in the middle of a windstorm can turn you into Davy Jones within a second.
In February of last year, I went on a walk with someone from my hometown whom I did not actually meet until he moved to Pullman.
Pullman winter winds are as brutal to fine hair as creamy lipstick is to first impressions. Put those in an equation — air draft + cream lippie + flying strands — and you're left with dancing tentacles on your chin.
It's a simple game of wind tangles hair, hair gets stuck to sticky lips, and lipstick smears on your cheek. You might see this as a lose-lose-lose situation. In reality, there's potential for this version of “Rochambeau” to be win-win-win in terms of a second date. If he's not as shallow as a reef, he will be into you even if you look like a sea monster from the deepest depth of the ocean.
See what I did there?
My freshman year of college, I made my then crush take me stargazing. Had we spent the date somewhere else, he would have gazed at the constellation of breakouts on my face instead of the stars in the sky.
That night was the moment I figured that he probably had no care in the world about my wispy thin eyelashes and pimples. I didn't have to wear makeup then, and I know I don't have to wear it now.
After all, we gotta do what we gotta do for some fleeky selfies, and going on bad dates might help us get there.
