I stumbled across a few letters that I wrote a couple years back. I put them in a little box I had-intending to give them to the people I wrote them for. I never did.

So what's the point of this? Why am I telling you all about these letters that never made it to their destination? What does it get anyone besides an uneasy feeling knowing certain feelings were never confessed and certain people never knew?

That part, I can't really answer.

I'm not sure if a point will ever be clear, but at the same time-I'm not certain I want there to be one.

All I want is to tell you about my letter, and the person who never got it.

I wrote this letter back in 2014. This man had several letters-none that ever made it to him. Each time I reread them, I get this knot in my chest because I hate knowing there were ever feelings left unsaid.

So I'm writing this letter, to tell you,

I wrote you a letter.

It confessed how hard I was falling for you and how scary change was to me. I said how what I was feeling at the given time was one of the most terrifying, yet exciting feelings of my life, but I knew I was meant to feel it.

It went on to say how I never pictured my life would be like it was right then, and how I'm sure years later I'd look back and say the same thing about that moment. I don't think anything has ever rang more true. My life is not like it was in that letter. I never got to tell you I loved you, and I never got to let you know I appreciated you for giving me a chance to feel that. These were all words I may as well never wrote because what good is a letter if it never gets to the person meant for it?

This is why,

I'm writing you a letter.

We both are moved on now, and haven't seen each other in years. I'm okay, and I know you are as well.There are no feelings of hatred or regret, for every moment I spent writing, talking, and loving you were some of my favorite memories that I'll cherish through these letters.

Like I said, there isn't so much a point to this for you as there is for me. I've promised myself that any letter I've ever wrote, or any feeling I've ever hid, should be heard. Why waste away the right to feel by hiding it?

It talked more about how excited I was to see you for my birthday, and how I wanted to a million more to follow. At the end I confessed once again how scary it was to fall for someone like this, but how the fear was way worth it for me.

It still was.

With as much hurt that I felt when we ended, I was still happy to know I was capable of feeling the way I did. It took me months and months to accept that...but when I finally did?

Well..

I wrote you another letter.

This letter I knew would never get to you. I wrote it for my own closure and peace of mind. This note allows me to reflect back on two entirely mindsets-both terrifying and wonderful all at the same time.

This letter started out by saying,

"Change is good, even when you don't want nor expect it. My previous letters never made it to you, just like the one I'm writing now won't. I'm okay with that because this letter is more for myself and not so much you. I am torn between feeling happy and sick. I'm happy because I can read this letter without crying now, but I feel sick knowing what I once said never made it to you. To make up for that, I will write another letter, right here on the back of my old one, and next time I feel sick to my stomach over the thought of losing you, I can look at the back and know at one point I was strong enough to do this, and at an even further point-I'll be even stronger."

So here are just a few things I said in my letters-both to you and myself.

I'm tired of seeing this letter and knowing it never got to you because everyone deserves to know if at one point they were so desperately loved.

I no longer get sick looking at this letter. I'll feel a slight tinge of discomfort, but that's all.

My heart still holds a special place for you, and my life will be forever changed because you entered it.

Though we're both moved on and happy with new people, and making brand new memories all on our own-I still thought you deserved to see that,

I wrote you a letter.