Since it was Halloween this weekend, being one of the most ample times to go out, I decided I would. I am by no means the partying type; most of my weekends are spent watching college football, a movie, or anything else except partying. I wound up at a fraternity house for their Halloween party, but I was a designated driver for the night. All I can say is I felt rather lost. Going to a party like this sober versus induced by alcohol is like night and day. The whole time I felt conflicted; knowing how much fun it can be, I wanted to let myself loose and enjoy the night intoxicated like everyone else (even though I couldn't since I was a DD), but deep down I know that's not who I am and what my priorities are.

Maybe that's what I was conflicted about most and still am conflicted with. As I scanned the whole area I was in, I couldn't understand how so many people's priorities were concentrated on such partying behavior. The way that I see it, the end game for many is to have a good time, by means of alcohol, recreational drugs, whatever. They may say other things are important in their lives, but when push comes to shove, what they want most and what matters most is barely remembering Friday night.

I don't want to criticize anyone for partaking in whatever he or she enjoys. Our society encourages us to seek out and do what we enjoy most. Yet for me, it is a real struggle at times to respect others who consistently set the partying priority over their other priorities. I will respect someone who works toward an admirable goal, one that is collectively valued by society, and can enjoy his or herself at times without it altering them from their respective path. That is how I try to balance myself. But there are too many of us who simply don't have any rigid system of priorities and ones that put the wrong priorities on top of all the other. When I see athletes on teams that are playing in season going to party and drinking, I can't help but question their loyalty to their teammates. Them partying every weekend conveys to me they care most about themselves rather than the team collectively. When I see people I know, who say they go to church every Sunday, athletes that go to FCA, or people I know who are generally expressive of their faith, go and engage in behavior that would deviate them away from the path their faith is supposed to guide them by, I can't help but question their commitment to their faith. They know their religious beliefs discourage them from doing the things they do, but they continue to do so anyway, so how can one say that religion is a priority when every weekend they turn the other way from it?

I guess I'm just not like everyone else. And that's okay with me. I know what my priorities are and what I want myself to become. I have a focus on achieving personal goals. And I realize too that I will not change anyone else's' priorities either. I will not be a saving grace for anyone. The individual is ultimately the one that is responsible for setting their priorities. I guess the only thing that we can do is to find out what we truly want most and going from there.