For as long as I can remember, I have always been my biggest critic. I like everything to be the best that it can, so I would work a long time on something until it was absolutely perfect. The problem with this is that for me, things never feel completely finished, especially when it came to my writing. I have always loved to write, but have always been scared to share my thoughts and ideas with the world. So when the opportunity came to be able to be a Creator for the Odyssey, a part of me was very hesitant. I questioned whether or not I was good enough to have my writings out for the world to see. I questioned if what I wanted to write about would even have an impact on anyone.
These questions in my mind continue to come through every time I sit down to write. I feel as though what I have to say is not important, and that no one one will read it. I'm not the type of person to share my feelings with the world, so combining that with my feelings of self-doubt, you get a lot of nerves and worries about each piece. I used to really struggle with being able to convey my thoughts and emotions towards other people and writing with the Odyssey forces me to face these fears head on, with very little room for me to be hesitant about what I am writing. I have learned that I need to go full on, one hundred percent with each topic, because if I don't, the point that I am trying to make may not be as strong, resulting in poor work. This never ending cycle is what terrifies me the most about writing, as in my mind, no matter what I do, it will never be good enough.
Despite the fear that invades my mind while writing, at the end of the day, I am always proud of my writing and how it comes out with the finished product. There is something extremely satisfying being able to see your thoughts and ideas being put into a piece of work that others can read and comment on as well. The best feeling in the world is being able to start a conversation between people about an opinion or belief that I may have. Even if the writing is not seen by many people, as I always fear, I have found that with every week I write, I care a little less about how many people read it. Instead, I have come to care more about the way that a person could be impacted by what I have to say. Writing for the Odyssey is what makes me happy, and at the end of the day, that is really what should matter the most for me. So while I will always struggle with my fears and anxieties, I am coming to a place in my mind where I can be satisfied with myself and my work, and that is thanks to the Odyssey.
