Recently my art professor was lecturing about Pablo Picasso's piece Les Demoiselles d'Avignon. He told us that after Picasso painted the piece, he didn't release it to the public for several years. The professor said he waited so long because Picasso had created something that he wasn't ready for yet. The artist wasn't ready for his own creation.
For some reason, the feeling of not being ready for yourself resonates very deeply with me. I often feel like the pieces I write are more than just a reflection of how I feel. These pieces are who I am.
I want people to read what I write and feel like they are seen and understood, even if I don't always understand my submissions. Maybe I'm just not ready for them yet.
I never want to be anything but completely transparent. Everything on the Internet these days is all glossy photographs of smiling people, it's extreme polar politics, it's disgusting, complicated, scary, and beautiful. I want to be simple and honest. But as John Green once wrote, "the pure and simple truth is hardly pure and never simple."
So why do I write for The Odyssey? Because I love creating something every week. Because I feel like I have something to say. Because it is my way of getting both in my head and out of my head.
Because therapy is really expensive.
Usually, I can't wait to write an article. Stress from classes builds up, my anxiety makes me heavy, I have a lot to get out. But last week I was unable to submit an article.
The thought of sitting at my desk, typing something out, putting myself on a platform so visible and alone--it was enough to make me want to scream. The week off gave me time to reflect on what I have submitted up to this point.
This is what I gathered. There are a lot of really amazing writers and content creators in the world. But no one writes the same way. No one has the same message.
The Odyssey is my way of saying: here I am, world. I have never written anything that I don't believe in completely. I may not be the best creator, but everything I have submitted means a lot to me. The Odyssey is what my heart looks like. I appreciate you sharing that with me.