How to Become a Writer
Start writing a post

How to Become a Writer

This is a joke. Cool it.

11
How to Become a Writer

Picture this: you're in high school being forced to choose a career to pursue in college. After weeks of procrastinating and contemplating the futility of existence (and how everyone will eventually make their untimely demise resulting in your inevitable panic attack), you realize you would like to pursue writing. You think "now what?" or "where do I even start?"

To begin writing, you want to start with the obvious: be cliche with your work. Finding something to write about is as easy as looking on the back cover of a YA novel. Supernatural romance? Get to writing. Sappy teen drama? There you go. It is as simple as looking at the Twilight saga.

Your next step is to avoid any and all fiction writing classes/clubs. What you can learn from others about voice, plot structure, character development, and general storytelling mechanics are completely unnecessary. Other writers can provide little to no inspiration. Much of it is original and dull, and most of them will try to encourage you to step outside of the box. Definitely, want to avoid other writers. Before you know it, they'll convince you to actually put effort into your writing.

Step three to becoming a writer is simple: don't write. It's not helpful to jot down ideas for stories, or bits of conversation you overhear, or interesting situations you learn of, and character names you create. Keeping a little notebook can get messy and, worst of all, your hand will cramp up if you write. Just trust your memory. That great idea you thought of just before going to bed will still be there in the morning. Trust me.

Step four is to completely fall in love with your words (don't edit). At least do it to the point where you can't be a ruthless editor. It's not important to be able to read your work with a critical eye and get rid of excess verbiage. Regardless of whether it's a legal memo or a short story, if you put the work away for a while, you won't be able to come back to it with a fresh eye, nor easily see if it needs improvement. Editing is what publishers take care of, leave it to them!

Step five is to not use detail with dialogue. Detail is very overrated and might bore your readers. Never use any other verb than "said" when characters are talking. The line of dialogue belongs to the character; the verb is the writer sticking his nose in, therefore it doesn't matter what you use. "Said" is far less intrusive than "grumbled", "gasped", "cautioned", or "lied". Forget the details, after all, it's just important dialogue that could forward the plot.

Finally, step six to being a writer is to underestimate what it takes to write a novel. You should have visions of publishing success and acclaim from the start, forget hard work and perseverance. As soon as you send it into a publisher, they will be ready to accept it and put it on bookshelves everywhere. Writing your first novel doesn't mean having strategies for maintaining motivation, discipline, focus, direction, or even confidence in your story.

Being a writer is very simple. You don't want to put time and energy into your work. The effort requires patience, which is not something you need to write a perfectly cliche novel. Talking to other authors is a hassle. Sure they could convince you to improve on your writing and step out of your comfort zone. But it is called a comfort zone for a reason. Stick to these basic rules and you'll be a writer in no time.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

Patriotism doesn't end with Independence day

If you can be proud of your country on he 4th of July, you can be proud all year long.

1077
Patriotism doesn't end with Independence day
Photo by Rob Martinez on Unsplash

I'm the child of a Marine Veteran. He may have been out of the service by the time I was born, but the Patriotic Pride he lived by has been my family's life line. I grew up with the American Flag hanging in my front porch. My dad has the "Proud to be a Marine" license plate in the front of his car. And red, white, and blue is a completely acceptable way to decorate your living room. But it doesn't end with just that. You need to know why we celebrate freedom.

Keep Reading... Show less

According to Katy Perry, "Baby You're a Firework." I don't know if she was referring to the Fourth of July when she was referencing fireworks, but this song has allowed this generation to rejoice. The song "Firework" allows people of all ages to appreciate the lyrics, as the song brings forth a positive state of mind. Unfortunately, just like the song, not every knows what the Fourth of July is actually for. Many just assume it is that one time of year you get to spend time barbecuing and see fireworks light up the sky. Even though many are not aware of the American historical significance, this holiday has annually encouraged people to come together happily, which could very much be the importance of it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Why Fourth Of July is America’s Biggest Frat Party

It’s the celebration of our great nation, and you’re all invited.

2363

It’s the celebration of our great nation, and you’re all invited.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

10 Revolutionary Women To Remember This Fourth Of July

The patriots of the American Revolution aren't the only ones who gave us the rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

2676
10 Revolutionary Women To Remember This Fourth Of July

Independence Day is almost upon us, which means that for most Americans, it'll be time to bust out the lawn chairs and grills, gather around family and friends, and praise our history through patriotic garb and grand fireworks displays. It's the one day of the year where everyone forgets their political biases or historic inaccuracies, at least for a while, to look back on the hazy, illustrious history of the United States.

But, while we celebrate what people like George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and Patrick Henry did for this country, they are not the only ones who embodied the very virtues that our nation loves to advocate for. This Fourth of July, here are ten American women who history tends to forget, despite the groundbreaking things they did for their country.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

13 Ways Barbie Movies Shaped My Childhood

My childhood would not have been the same without them.

9680
Taylor Hawk

Barbie movies were a huge part of my childhood. I mean huge. If you are like me, I welcome you to take a healthy dose of nostalgia as I explain how Barbie movies shaped my childhood. The movies...

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments