There once was a time in my life where I thought I couldn’t survive without being in a relationship and having one person’s attention at all times. Now that I am heading into my third year of college, finally I realize how overrated relationships can be. They take a lot of time out of your day and week. When I was in high school, being in a relationship didn’t seem to be that big of a deal because I wasn’t working every weekend and I didn’t have serious classes that I actually had to put a lot of effort into. But now that I am in college, I am starting to realize relationships are overly demanding. Right now, I am trying to focus on my future and what I want to do further down the road with my life. I have no idea who I am yet, or where I am going to be in the near future.

Everyone seems to think it’s a crazy idea to want to date around and not be in a stable relationship. So what if I want to meet new people and not be romantically involved? Why is that something so many people are judged for? Can you not like more than one person at once? I’m tired of going on one date with someone and having them immediately start to think I am completely interested in only them, and then being accused of “leading them on”. I don’t have enough time in my day to give someone undivided attention. I’m sorry if that sounds selfish, but sometimes we need to be more selfish about our time and how we use it for ourselves. I’m over people getting upset because I don’t text them back right away, I don’t have time for that. I’m just not at a point in my life where I can fully care for myself and someone else.

I have to truly be comfortable in my own skin and be in a deep relationship with myself before adding someone else to the equation. I am honestly a mess and I have so many things I need to focus on before leaving college and starting my career. So many people in their teens and early twenties rush into relationships, people are getting engaged without even being in relationships for at least a year and making commitments to other people instead of focusing on themselves. I’ve only been on this earth for two decades. So until I can look at myself in the mirror and say, “Would you want to be in a relationship with yourself?” and answer with an indefinite “yes”, I won’t be committed to anyone. I have no idea where I will end up in the next five years, or what kind of person I will be, I am ever changing and I want to be free.

So, if you ever feel yourself jumping into a relationship or commitment too quickly, just ask yourself this question: “Would you date you?”.