Have you ever taken a step back from your hectic life to stop and ask yourself, “am I being the person I can to be?" Have you ever wondered how you come across to people?

A few months ago I took a step back and asked myself “would I want to be friends with me?"

Most of us try really hard to be on our best behavior and impress NEW people in our lives. Why do we act our best for strangers, but those that love us the most get the lousy, beaten up end of the stick?

Remember when you were little and you would go to your friend's house and their parents would tell your parents that you were a delight? With utter shock your parents would say thank you. Why is it that we act better around strangers than we do around our own family or those people that we care about?

I wish I would have taken a step back earlier. Well not a step, but an ocean-wide leap back and looked at the person I had become. I was not a bad person. I don't think I was a mean person. I just became so self-involved with school, my internships, and trying to fit in, that I simply forgot how I came across to others. I'm sad to say it was not my best.

But after taking this step back and looking at myself I have resolved that I am done acting mean to people I am close to because I love my friends and family and I don't want to lose any of them because I acted like a brat!

Last year I lost a really close friend because I was not treating him very nicely. I know now that I was so caught up in experience and the THOUGHT of fun, that I chased that person really close to me away. I would give anything to go back to those days and give that person a huge hug. I would thank him over and over again until he knows how much I really appreciated him and loved him. I am sure if I had the right words in my head at that time my life would be a lot different today.

I have always made a big deal out of birthdays, anniversaries, etc. thinking that day had to be all about me and whatever I wanted. I would make big plans, or expect others to make big plans, and then be disappointed if the plans didn't happen. My biggest problem was I used to think life was all about these big huge experiences: going on big trips, or planning extravagant weekends. I finally have realized, and hopefully you can too, is that, yeah, experiences are great and don't stop doing them, but those people that I want to spend those experiences with aren't going to put up with a person who doesn't acknowledge their work and efforts. I was VERY selfish, but I didn't realize it. (I guess some of that came from being an only child). Whatever people DID do, I expected and I wasn't very gracious. Wow, have I learned a lot since then!

Many people as they grow just start to feel entitled. “I don't have to try to be a good friend, I just deserve good friends." “I don't need to tell my parents I love them, they just know." “I don't have to thank my boyfriend for helping me today, he just knows that I appreciate what he does." I think these ignorant thoughts are not helpful and communicating them directly is better. I thought my friends knew I loved and appreciated them. But then I thought, “how often do I actually just say “Hey I appreciate that and love you." Simply acknowledging people with words of affirmation and letting them know you appreciate their efforts will make a huge difference in your life.

Here's something you might try with your friends (or family):

Ask them what three words they think describe you.

When I did this, and I asked for brutal honesty, I got, “bossy," “controlling," “obsessive" “dramatic" and “over the top." (There were some kind words but these are the ones that stuck out in a negative way). This is how I was coming across to the people I was closest to. THIS WAS NOT OKAY AND ON THAT DAY I REALIZED I NEEDED TO CHANGE.

I have chosen three words that I would like to be known by: humble, giving and empathetic. These are the words I have incorporated into my daily life. I keep these words in my head all day. I've written them on post-it notes and stuck them to my bathroom mirror, my closet door and my desk. This way I am forced to see them over and over again each day. As the words have entered my mind, I have started to become them. I think they will make me a better person, both for myself and towards others. Every single day now I look in the mirror and remind myself of what my words are. I ask myself what actions or words of affirmation I can do to let those around me know how much they mean to me.

So now you have an interesting suggestion to consider and also to think about what your three words might be. Take a step back and look at those important people in your life and that you don't want to lose just because you are caught up in the minutiae of life.