I miss you.

You have missed so much that has happened in my life. As a little girl, you meant the absolute world to me. Sometimes I did not know what was going on as I had to spend nights with my aunts while mom and nanny would take you to the hospital for days at a time. You did not give up, that is why you are my hero.

Twelve years ago, God decided that he needed you a little more than I did and I would by lying if I said that I was not jealous for the decision. Each morning you would wake up and put wood in the heater so none of us in the house would be cold. Mom was a truck driver, so I spent all of my time with you and nanny and I am so blessed to share those times with you.

There were nights were you would get sick in the bathroom and it always broke my heart that I could not do anything about it. Cancer was taking over your body and I wish I could have done something.

As a little girl I am beyond thankful that I shared many memories with you. Every Friday night we spent time together watching WWE, playing checkers, and making milkshakes. Thank you for taking me to school, but I am more thankful for you hanging my tater tots out of the window to cool them down so I would not be late for school. Thank you for always turning the radio up really loud to the song "Long Black Train" by Josh Turner, so I could sing my sweet little soul out to my favorite song. I was your little nurse, the oxygen tanks were heavy, but I tried my best to carry them. Thank you for everything, especially for killing the snake in the backyard as all of us were playing baseball.

I would do absolutely anything to ask you why people always walked down the road and you would answer with "He is only going to see a man about a dog, aren't you glad you are a puppy?" I really wish you were still here as you have missed so much in my life. I talk about you as if you put the stars in the sky, but in my world you did. You have missed watching me graduate high school, become a CNA, work at the library, receive scholarships for college, and especially watching our family tree expand. It has gotten really big since you've been gone, but I know you would be so proud of each and every one of them.

I find myself thinking about how life would be so different if you were still here, but I am glad you are my angel after I was once yours. I will always be your little nurse and I will also make sure that nanny is taken care of. I also find myself singing some songs by Elvis and wishing you were here to sing them with me.

Thank you for letting me sleep with your blankets after all of these years and teaching me that kindness is important. Pray for me, I want to be the "little nurse" who finds a cure for cancer one day.

I miss you more and more everyday. Thank you for being my hero.

I love you.

-your little nurse

PS. Pinky promises still mean the world to me.