Picture this — a girl comes home from her first year of college about 20 pounds heavier with a lot of self-esteem issues that are starting to control and take up space in her head.

After endless nights of research and stress, she found multiple diets that for years after she was a slave to, never feeling happy in her own skin, despite eating “clean” and working out two-plus hours a day. The constant, unreachable beauty standard slowly led to an eating disorder that began to control her life.

When food was once a source of nutrition and not much of a thought, it was now a powerful force that was always in the back of her mind, controlling every interaction and choice.

Food became a negative voice that yelled at her when she didn’t eat “clean” and at the same time was a source of comfort. Her life slowly began to revolve around food. Media pushed a variety of messages down her throat about what a woman should look like, how to eat, what to eat, and how to feel “happy” in your own skin.

We are constantly led to believe that the way we look will determine our success, value, and worth. We are constantly led to believe that if you eat this or that you will drop five pounds and feel “better” about yourself. And we are constantly led to believe you have to be a certain weight to be successful.

But here is the secret — a theme that seems to be trending in this commercial beauty world — you will never be happy with you if you are following these skewed guidelines. There will always be a new product to try, a new diet to dive into or a new beauty regimen to adhere to.

Plus, the appearance of your body does not define your value!

This is not to say that you cannot try to change your appearance. After all, it is your body and you should treat it how you want to treat it, but we cannot put so much value into a monetary number on a scale. Your life is worth so much more. Your HEART is worth so much more. Beauty has 100+ definitions and is not even close to all about your appearance.

What this girl learned was that food was not the enemy. Food was a major source of life and to treat it as such. She learned it was okay to cheat and eat Oreos and chips from time to time, but also learned that eating healthy, fresh foods made her overall health better. She learned to accept all types of bodies because bodies are powerful, amazing things and that fact that there are all different types of bodies is an empowering thing!

It was no longer about a number on a scale, but how she felt in her own skin. It was no longer about starving herself or binge eating, but rather eating to fuel her body. And above all, it was no longer so much about her outer appearance, but her inner appearance.

She focused on channeling her energy into improving and growth her self-esteem, how she treated others and her soul.

This shift of thought led her to feel more comfortable in her own skin because she felt more comfortable in her own heart.

This is not to say she does not struggle from day-to-day. She still does but treats each day as a new one and always tries to remember that her worth is not a number on a scale or the appearance of her body. Beauty is a wide spectrum and should be treated as such. And as cliché, as it may sound, everyone is beautiful.