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11 Awful Pickup Lines That Will Never Work On Anyone, Promise

Spread the word that these are completely horrible.

Destiny Rasmussen

Feb 28, 2019

Illinois State University

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No matter who, what, or where you are, no one likes to have some stranger in a public place during a night out with friends approach them and spit out some obnoxious line that they think will get them far. If you are genuinely attempting to get to know someone you are interested in, please, never ever EVER use any of these lines provided below.

1. Literally any pun containing your name

Maybe it was cute the first time, and seemingly creative, but after you here "Destiny brought us together" or "It was Destiny that I met you tonight," it's no longer cute. In fact, it makes me instantly regret turning around to acknowledge you.

2. "Hey girl, are you from Tennessee because you're the only ten I see."

This has to be the oldest one in the book, making it the most eye rolling of them all.

3. "Go ahead, feel my shirt. It's boyfriend material."

To approach anyone with this as your opener not only makes assumptions about that individual, but can be really awkward when they are already spoken for.

4. "I hope you know CPR because you are taking my breath away."

Another big eye roll for another ridiculous line.

5. "Do you have a name or can I call you mine?"

Possession is not cute or sexy or anything else you were trying to be with that line.

6. "Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?"

Hopefully to not have any more complete strangers walking up to me and insist they are the only thing I need in my life. Because dogs are much cooler.

7. "I seem to have lost my phone number, can I have yours?"

This might actually work but definitely not as an opening line. Believe it or not, a normal hello would get you a lot farther.

8. "Hey girl, are you a big toe? Because I want to bang you on every piece of furniture in my house."

I can guarantee you that if you walk up to any human with this as the first thing out of your mouth, you're gonna get something way worse than just an eye roll.

9. "What's your favorite silverware, because I like to spoon."

Maybe you'd get away with this on the second date? But even that is a long shot.

10. "Hey I'm looking for treasure, can I look around your chest?"

Oh trust me, use this and a fist will be looking for your face.

11. "The only STD I have is sexually transmitted desire...for you."

If you are trying to impress someone by even suggesting you have an STD, good luck coming back from that one.

So if you or anyone you know has fallen victim to these awful pickup lines, make sure to spread the word that these are completely horrible and should never be spoken to anyone, from anyone, ever again.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

11 Awful Pickup Lines That Will Never Work On Anyone, Promise

Spread the word that these are completely horrible.

1. Literally any pun containing your name

2. "Hey girl, are you from Tennessee because you're the only ten I see."

3. "Go ahead, feel my shirt. It's boyfriend material."

4. "I hope you know CPR because you are taking my breath away."

5. "Do you have a name or can I call you mine?"

6. "Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?"

7. "I seem to have lost my phone number, can I have yours?"

8. "Hey girl, are you a big toe? Because I want to bang you on every piece of furniture in my house."

9. "What's your favorite silverware, because I like to spoon."

10. "Hey I'm looking for treasure, can I look around your chest?"

11. "The only STD I have is sexually transmitted desire...for you."

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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