A lot of movies suck. Jaws: The Revenge. Transformers: Age of Extinction. Ted 2. We can all name a movie we regret squandering $20 at the theater to see. There are plenty of bad movies, but few manage to be so mindbogglingly ridiculous that watching them is something of a religious experience. The movies that achieve this revered status become so popular, that some newer movies actually try to be awful. That's why you won't be seeing Sharknado on this list - it's a sloppy cash grab with no heart. The best bad movies are the result of a genuine attempt to make something good, create art. In a roundabout way, they succeed.
1. Troll 2 (1990)
It wouldn't make sense not to begin with the Mona Lisa of bad movies, Troll 2. At first glance, one might assume Troll 2 is the sequel to the 1986 film, Troll, but the films aren't related at all. In fact, there isn't a single mention of trolls in Troll 2; it's about goblins. The language barrier between the Italian speaking crew and English speaking cast is most likely to blame for terrible acting and weird, quotable dialogue ("You can't piss on hospitality!"). One of the actors said he was so stoned during filming that he wasn't acting. I could go on and on about the beauty and the majesty that's Troll 2, but sometimes you need to see for yourself.
2. A Talking Cat?! (2013)
One of the newer and lesser known classics, A Talking Cat?!, is about exactly what you think it's about - a cat that can talk. Aside from the laughable acting, plot, and dialogue, it's hard to put exactly into words what makes this movie such a ride. There's a scene where a character "scans" items of clothing with a book light, if that helps.
3. The Room (2003)
Directed by Tommy Wiseau, written by Tommy Wiseau, and starring Tommy Wiseau, The Room is one man's misguided dream. Meant to be a film about a complicated love triangle, it ended up being more about Wiseau's horrible attempt at an accent and a very unfitting football prop.
4. Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2008)
While the title sounds like something in the Sharknado category, don't be fooled - Birdemic is a heartfelt homage to The Birds, but with a budget of a $100 Walmart gift card. Before the birds show up, the story focuses on the main characters' romance and successful careers, as shown in this iconic clapping scene. When the birds finally do make their appearance 40 minutes in, it's the most pitiful attempt at special effects you will ever experience. The actors swing coat hangers around to fend off the flock of acid spitting birds. Oh, and did I mention the movie's actually about global warming?
5. Super Mario Bros. (1993)
With a budget of $48 million, this movie isn't a heap of garbage; it's high quality garbage. It's a big shift from the rest of the films on this list, with pretty decent acting and editing. But for anyone who knows anything about the Super Mario franchise, this movie is a roller coaster. Luigi is an attractive 20-something year old, while Mario looks more like Danny Devito. Goombas are giant men with tiny reptilian heads, and Toad is a guitar player with a mohawk. 10/10, very accurate.
6. Mac and Me (1988)
Mac and Me is a flat out ripoff of E.T. created in an attempt to copy the original's success, but the only success it achieves is being one of the most bizarre films of all time. It's the same "boy finds an alien creature" premise, but with 10 times the product placement. Heavily sponsored by McDonalds, the film opens with an introduction from Ronald himself, and there's an entire dance scene that takes place in the fast food chain. Coca Cola is the alien species' favorite drink. Oh, and there's this scene.
6. Foodfight! (2012)
Last but not least, the movie with my favorite production backstory, Foodfight!. Playing off of the idea of Toy Story, Foodfight! was going to be about supermarket brand mascots (think Tony the Tiger) that come to life at night. Scheduled for release in 2003, it had a budget of $45 million and an all star cast that included Hillary Duff, Wayne Brady, Charlie Sheen, and Eva Longoria. What could possibly go wrong?
Shortly before the film's projected release, it was reported that the film's hard drives had been "stolen", and the film seemingly ceased to exist...until nearly a decade later, when Foodfight! was quietly released on DVD. The cast is the same, voicing the most grotesquely animated characters I've ever seen in a poorly thought out, weirdly sexual, children's movie.
Honorable Mentions
The Wicker Man (2006), Howard the Duck (1986), Reefer Madness (1936), and Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959).
