Why "Worry About Yourself" Is One Of The Most Important Lessons You'll Ever Learn

Why "Worry About Yourself" Is One Of The Most Important Lessons You'll Ever Learn

You are your own, and you can only control yourself.

Growing up, one of the first lessons I learned in school was: "Worry about yourself." In elementary school, this usually means no tattling and paying attention to your own work. I never thought this would be one of the biggest lessons that I carried with me into my (sort of adult) life.

Whenever I'm going through something difficult that involves another person, my father always tells me that I am the only person whose feelings I can control. It took me much longer than I want to admit to completely figure out what he meant by that, but now I understand. No matter what situation you may find yourself in, whether you are right or wrong, the only person whom you have any control over is yourself. You can't control anyone else's words, actions, reactions, or feelings. You can only decide how you respond. Sometimes this means apologizing for something you've done wrong, and sometimes it means forgiving someone who has wronged you. You are only responsible for how you act; you can't stress about how someone else is acting.

When you're faced with a difficult situation, it's easy to get caught up in how the other person feels and as humans, we have a desired reaction that we want out of other people. You're not always going to get the reaction you want — and you are not responsible for that. Someone else's behavior can mean a million different things, and you can't control that behavior, nor will you fully understand it at any given time. You are only responsible for your own life, your own soul, and your own words and actions.

You are your own.

You are the only thing in life you can control. You control what you think and the decisions that you make. You are only responsible for your own actions, not the actions or words of others. Make sure your actions speak to who you want to be.

Cover Image Credit: Google

Popular Right Now

I Ghosted My Old Self For 5 Months In An Effort To Reevaluate My Life

My life fell apart faster than a drunk dude approaching a Jenga stack.


BREAKING (not fake) NEWS: It's true, you have to hit your lowest before hitting your highest.

I want to share my lowest with you, and I'm almost ashamed to say it had nothing to do with the loss of both of my parents. I like to think I handled that like a warrior.

Turns out I didn't, and the hurt I've been burying from that hit me all at once, the same moment my life fell apart faster than a drunk dude approaching a Jenga stack.

My life flipped upside down overnight back in August. I had my heart broken shattered, lost two very important friendships that I thought were with me until the end, lost my 9-5 job, my health took a hit stronger than a boulder, and I was absolutely lost. For the first time, ever, I let go of the reigns on my own life. I had no idea how to handle myself, how to make anyone around me happy, how to get out of bed or how to even begin the process of trying to process what the f*ck just happened. I was terrified.

Coming from the girl who never encountered a dilemma she couldn't fix instantaneously, on her own, with no emotional burden. I was checked out from making my life better. So I didn't try. I didn't even think about thinking about trying.

The only relatively understandable way I could think to deal with anything was to not deal with anything. And that's exactly what I did. And it was f*cking amazing.

I went into hiding for a week, then went on a week getaway with my family, regained that feeling of being loved unconditionally, and realized that's all I need. They are all I need. Friends? Nah. Family. Only. Always.

On that vacation, I got a call from the school district that they wanted me in for an interview the day I come home. It was for a position that entailed every single class, combined, that I took in my college career. It was a career that I had just gotten my degree for three months before.

I came home and saw my doctor and got a health plan in order. I was immediately thrown into the month-long hiring process for work. I made it a point to make sunset every single night, alone, to make sure I was mentally caught up and in-check at the same exact speed that my life was turning. I was not about to lose my control again. Not ever.

Since August, I have spent more time with family than ever. I've read over 10 new books, I've discovered so much new music, I went on some of my best, the worst and funniest first dates, I made true, loyal friends that cause me zero stress while completely drowning me in overwhelming amounts of love and support, I got back into yoga, and I started that job and damn near fell more in love with it than I ever was for the guy I lost over the summer.

But most importantly, I changed my mindset. I promised myself to not say a single sentence that has a negative tone to it. I promised myself to think three times before engaging in any type of personal conversation. I promised myself to wake up in a good mood every damn day because I'm alive and that is the only factor I should need to be happy.

Take it from a girl who knew her words were weapons and used them frequently before deciding to turn every aspect of her life into positivity — even in the midst of losing one of my closest family members. I have been told multiple times, by people so dear to me that I'm "glowing." You know what I said back? F*ck yes I am, and I deserve to.

I am so happy with myself and it has nothing to do with the things around me. It's so much deeper than that, and I'm beaming with pride. Of myself. For myself.

I want to leave you with these thoughts that those people who have hurt me, left me, and loved me through these last couple of months have taught me

Growth is sometimes a lonely process.
Some things go too deep to ever be forgotten.
You need to give yourself the permission to be happy right now.
You outgrow people you thought you couldn't live without, and you're not the one to blame for that. You're growing.
Sometimes it takes your break down to reach your breakthrough.

Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

My god, it's so f*cking good.

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

7 Simple Activities You Can Do To Calm Your Mind

Find your inner zen during a busy school semester.


We all have weeks that are more intense than others. Sometimes our body craves an outlet where we can release the built-up stress. Now, I know it is still the beginning of the semester and you may not have too much on your plate at the moment however one thing you do know is that once school picks up, it really picks up.

As I said before, these next couple of activities are great for keeping your brain sane. If you start making the time for them when you're schedule isn't as jam-packed as it will be later on in the semester, you will create a habit and eventually will make the effort to find the time to partake in these activities once it does. I have personally found that the ones that require creative energy are the most therapeutic. Something to keep in mind is that you don't need to be artistically talented to be creative, it's all about the thought!

Try out these next couple of activities when you feel you need to get away.

1. Paint on canvas.

Wether it's painting a portrait or just splattering on paint and different patterns, the calming state of mind that painting on canvas brings you is absolutely amazing.

2. Reading a book outside.

Just think about it. In your hands is a book, a magazine, even a newspaper and the cool, spring wind is blowing in your hair, you are filling your body with fresh air instead of the air in your tiny apartment bedroom. It's a relaxing time. You are enjoying yourself.

3. Hit the gym.

Put on your favorite playlist and hop on to a spin bike, the elliptical, absolutely any cardio machine in the gym and just listen to your entire playlist while getting your daily dose of exercise in. For those who dread the gym, if you have good music blasting in your ear, you'll completely forget about the fact that you're working out.

4. Journal.

I am an avid fan of journaling. It allows for you to dissect into your own thoughts and expand on your mentality. It's great mental exercise.

5. Doodle with a sharpie.

I know this sounds basic and you're probably wondering why I emphasized doodling with a sharpie, but the way a sharpie goes on to the paper is very relaxing. I'm laughing as I type this, but believe me, it's fun.

6. Do some yoga.

You don't have to be an expert in yoga in order to enjoy it. Start with some breathing exercises and then move your way up the yoga ladder.

7. Organize your room.

Chances are, half of your stress comes from the fact that your room is a mess. Turn on some music, and get organizing. I promise, once your room is in great shape, your mind will be a lot more calm.

Related Content

Facebook Comments