When I realized that I have the chance to be the social media representative intern for a corporation this summer, I immediately experienced a series of emotions all at once. I was shocked, thrilled, relieved, and grateful all before worry kicked in. As I'm sure anyone with an upcoming internship feels, I became anxious about the opportunity that I hadn't even secured yet. My worries list only grew as I thought about it more.
1. What if I don't get it?
I'm not even entirely sure that I have this opportunity yet so that is the first problem. The good news is that if I don't, the rest of my worries are invalid. Then, of course, I have a whole other series of worries: Why wasn't I hired? When will I get the real world experience everyone wants me to have? Will I ever get that experience? Am I damned to be a retail cashier even after I get my degree?
If I do get the internship, that would be awesome, but that opens up the door for a list of worries on its own.
2. What if I'm not actually as good as I think?
Say I get this internship, great. As confident as I am in my abilities now, what if when I put them to the true test, they are not as strong as I thought they were? After all of my communications classes, my advertising class that was pretty much entirely dedicated to the branding of a company, all of my experience with social media, what if it all fails me and I draw a blank when I'm on the job? As a millennial, I'm rather adept in social media. I have tons of active accounts and I know how to use all of them rather well. But does that equate to me knowing how to accurately represent myself or the corporation?
3. What if I mess it up?
Do you remember that episode of "Parks & Recreation" where Donna tweeted at one of her dates using the Parks Department's Twitter? Don't laugh but that is a genuine concern of mine. Not that I'll tweet at a person or use the wrong account, but just that I'll make a huge mistake that is so irreversible because of how the Internet works. It remembers everything. My mistake would live on forever.
Plus, Donna's actions ultimately reflected the Parks Department's public relations. If I were to become the intern, I would be responsible for their social image and relationship to all of their followers. It's like being a parent because it's not just about me anymore; it's about the entire corporation.
I guess the real struggle is just wondering if I am actually good for this position. Yes, I would love the position, and I believe that my skills and education have prepared me very well for it. But damn it if self-consciousness and natural fear at the prospect of doing something new won't make me doubt myself no matter what.