Sit still, sit up straight, stop cursing it’s not lady like. Don’t be so emotional. He picks on you because he likes you. You’d be much prettier if you would do your make-up. Your biological clock is ticking. Do you feel unfulfilled because you were just a stay at home mom? Do you regret letting someone else raise your kids while you always worked?
Every woman in her life eventually hears something similar to the above. Being told to get an education, but stay at home and raise your kids while labeled just a “stay-at-home” mom. But forbid that you go back to work and let someone else raise them. No matter what you do as a woman someone will have an opinion on why you made the "wrong choice". But you know what, who cares? You are the only you in the entire world.
The journey to finding yourself is hard, and it’s always different for everyone. I grew up in a home with both my parents and one brother, the typical nuclear family. I was blessed with amazing parents who taught me how to grow into the person I wanted to be. They hardly told me how to do it, and only offered guidance when I needed it. But some days I still feel like I don’t truly know myself. I have a friend from high school named Raina who has had a very different journey finding the person she is today. She has overcome growing up too fast and having the world expect her to just fit into a certain category. She has gone through being a mother to her own mother, a suicide attempt, and coming to terms that she wanted to be someone she was proud of despite what the world said. And she has grown into a woman so uniquely and unapologetically herself, someone who can only be described as being herself. I will attach a link here so you can read the blog she wrote for this article yourself. (I highly encourage you to, because if this girl can love herself today I know you can). She encouraged me like crazy through high school as I got to be a bystander, watching her become a powerhouse for herself. She went through her life and she survived and she is in a better place. I want to encourage you, no matter what situation in life you are at to know that you are unique, you are beautiful, and you can pick your own path. That same friend I got to reconnect with while writing this article taught me that accepting womanhood is hard.
Don’t let the world tell you your body is ugly. When you've been told to stand up straight your whole life it's hard to see yourself as beautiful when you slouch. Your body is strong. It is powerful. It has carried you through everything you have been through in life. Do with your body what makes you happy, but don’t determine your worth based on photo-shopped models, and the social norms. It is okay to be short, to be tall, to have long or short hair. To be thick, to be curvy, to have a thigh gap or not have a thigh gap. Love yourself for who are and what your body represents for you. The cover of this article was painted by that same friend I mentioned before as she learned to love her body. I encourage you to look in the mirror and point out what you love instead of focusing on what the world says is wrong.
You don’t have to be perfect, you don’t have to take on labels. You are not a feminist because the world tells you that. You ar a woman fighting for her rights. You are not an uptight workaholic because you run your own business or work lots of hours. You are a woman who loves what she does and enjoys doing it. You are a woman supporting her family and kicking butt doing it. You aren’t “just a stay-at-home mom” because you decided your job was in the house with your children. You are a mother who made the decision that her job was going to be teaching her children and uplift them and being incredibly blessed you can do so. Don’t let the world give you an identity based on what it deems worthy. Your identity comes from within you.
Don’t force yourself to stay in situations because it is better for someone else. Be selfish for your heart, don’t sacrifice who you are for the benefit of someone else. I promise in life you will be so much happier trusting in yourself and God over other people. Don’t listen when they say you’re too young to be in love. Don’t listen when they say you're too old to not be thinking about marriage. Don’t listen when someone tries to tell you who you are and what you want.
It’s all about accepting who you are. It’s your OWN thoughts and actions you have to live with. Do not determine your worth as a woman based on the words of this world. Do not base your identity on how the world describes what makes you yourself. Base your identity in your heart, base it off of who you know you are and what makes you happy. Do not let this world undermine who you are in your Heavenly Fathers eyes. Stay true to yourself and who you want to be. Don’t let others tell you what will make you happy. No one else can determine your happiness. You're special, accept yourself.
