I was in England when I first realized that the world was bigger than I thought. I realized that not everyone was American, not everyone had the same values as me. Not everyone grew up allowed to say what they wanted or openly believe whatever they believed.

Being a millennial in America, it’s easy to think that the only thing that is stopping someone from doing what they want or from following their dreams is themselves. But that’s not the case in other parts of the world.

When I was in England I watched a film about Benghazi. I asked myself why someone would hate my country so much. I asked myself what we had in common. I realized then that not everyone had the same beliefs as I did. I still don’t know why there’s hurt and violence, other than the fact that we live in a fallen world. But I started thinking,

What are the main differences between the American culture and other cultures of the world?

And, more importantly, what are the main commonalities between us and those around the world?

Last semester my philosophy professor was discussing a similar thing. He said that both Canadians and another people-group (I can’t remember which), respected their elders but each culture showed this respect differently. Canadians would send their grandparents off on icebergs to live the remainder of their lives there. They did this because the grandparents did not want to be a burden to their children and grandchildren. So to respect the grandparents was to respect the wishes of the grandparents. On the other hand, this other people-group had their grandparents move in to share the home with their children and grandchildren. They did this so that the grandparents would not have to provide for themselves. Both cultures respected their grandparents, but each respected them differently.

I recently started watching a fictional show with my family about the Secretary of State. In one of the first episodes, two American teenage boys go overseas to the middle east and end up in a jail there. These two teenagers had traveled to the middle east to try to help the people there find their voice and fight back against the oppressive government. The Secretary of State talked to the parents of the two teenage boys who were imprisoned. She said that the imprisoned boys had good intentions and knew they had freedom of speech here in America, but that they didn’t realize that other countries do not have the same constitutional rights.

All of these events have gotten me thinking about what connects people, even people who seem very, very different.

Not to say that there are no differences, or that there is not hurt and evil in the world. There are some people we should not stand behind. But rather than assume that everyone else is like us and has the same background and value-system that we do, we should try to understand others on their own terms while also bringing our own experiences to the table.

So before you go judging another person or another country for being different than your own, stop and ask yourself why they are different from you or from the people around you. And then do the inconceivable. Ask yourself how the two of you are similar, whether it is obvious or somewhere under the surface.