Working at a summer camp is really hard. It seems that by the end of camp, a part of your soul is lost not only because half your summer is gone, but also because you forgot how it feels to be surrounded by people your age (the agony of being surrounded by 5-17 year olds for so long). It is not a job for the weak, nor is it a job for the easily broken hearted; it is a job fit for those who have stamina, endless ice breakers up their sleeves, and a spunky personality. After working at a residential camp for three weeks straight where my hours were 8 a.m.-11 p.m., it is safe to say I have thought about quitting half way through. However, lo and behold, I made it; WE made it to tell the endless stories about how kids got lost, the kids that ran into walls, and how much we should really value air-conditioning (but actually). Three weeks doesn’t seem very long, but when the three weeks are jam-packed filled with activities and screaming/lost kids, three weeks feels like 10 years real quick, so it is an accomplishment to get this far.

After four years of working at a summer camp for gifted students (so really smart kids/’nerd camp”), I have decided to compile a list of the crazy things and instances that have happened at camp from the view of the camp counselor/office staff. No names will be used, but heck, I hope all you counselors and camp workers can relate to some of these things.

1. The kid who just wanted to buy flowers.

When I was at the Princeton location my second year, love was in the air. Since this location has the older kids, asking kids out to the dance was a big thing. Some of these teens would go out of their way to create extravagant dance-posals to girls, and guys, that they had only known for less than two weeks.

A popular activity that we let the kids do was let them go to Nassau Street, the main street in Princeton. The older kids were able to go around town by themselves so the counselors didn’t have much work to do.

There was this one boy who was going to ask this girl to the dance. I’m pretty sure he had this grand idea. I didn’t see this happen, but apparently, he stopped some strangers on the street and had a conversation with them. A counselor saw this and became suspicious when they talked for a long time; they talked long enough where the counselor was almost certain that the kid was trying to buy drugs. And had reported them to higher staff. Like what?

Drugs aside and a couple of conversations later, it turns out that the kid just wanted to buy flowers to ask a girl out to the dance. He just wanted to buy flowers! How precious.

2. Picky eaters unite.

Picky eaters come in all different shapes and forms. I once worked with a guy who had never ate salad in his life, so sometimes, it’s also the workers who could be picky.

But recently we had a girl, *Laura, who literally ate nothing. She was the most picky eater I think I have ever encountered in my life; in addition, we had to make her jelly sandwiches every day… and when I say we had to make it for her, her counselor would physically make her jelly sandwich in the dining hall. This girl’s diet consisted of lucky charms, ice cream, and candy (I specifically remember her constantly eating pop rocks). Personally, I have no clue how she was able to survive.

Twice a week, our camp would order out from an outside source, which basically meant twice a week, Laura would have candy for dinner. If she wasn’t eating candy, she was eating lucky charms and to be honest, I never really saw her eat anything else.

Since I worked in the office, I oversaw all the packages that went to the kids and every time Laura got a package, it was always in a box with a big time brand on it, usually quite heavy. In the office, we thought to ourselves, “Finally! Something else other than candy!” However, very shortly after she received the box, we would always get word that it was actually a box full of candy. My personal favorite was seeing her get a Just Fab box; we thought she had gotten a new pair of shoes which made us all feel so happy. Low and behold, it was actually a box full of candy that she ate at all hours of the day.

Thanks mom and dad … ?

Like, I still cannot comprehend how her digestive system is still functioning.

3. The Nomad

There is always that one kid who happens to be a space cadet. In this case, space cadet doesn’t even qualify as a word to describe this child. *Mike was his name; every day, he would lose something, ranging from his water bottle, to his meal card, and he almost lost his glasses at one point (which I’m pretty sure he can’t really see without). He tended to wander away from the group and when you talked to him, you couldn’t tell if he was listening.

Overall, he was a nice kid. He happened to be an extended commuter so we saw his mom regularly as she picked him up and dropped him off; she would always boast about how much fun Mike was having and how engaged he was. However, in the back of our heads, we thought, “Is he really engaged though?” We couldn’t tell.

There were times where we lost him. According to his counselor, he would run to the bathroom five minutes before lunch was over without telling him and then his whole group would be late to the next class. Another time, he apparently went to the bathroom and was gone for 10 minutes; sources said he brought his book inside and was most likely reading it in there (the kid read everywhere). An RA had to bang on the door for three minutes until he came out with his book. In other instances, he would accidentally wander off to other classes and with other groups and not realize it.

Nevertheless, he was quite the handful. His counselor probably had to call his name out a million times a day just so he could get to the next appropriate location or to make sure he was paying attention. We were often reminded that these kids were “their parent’s precious children,” as much as we wanted to strangle some of them; the amount of times we might have actually strangled Mike were… well… we can’t even count how many times because it happened so often.

But my favorite story about Mike happened on the weekend trip into the city. Extended commuters were always invited to participated on the weekend trips and knowing Mike, he wouldn’t want to miss it (besides, his mother loved this camp and wouldn’t let him miss it for the world). Departure time came along and Mike never showed up; it was safe to say that everyone was quite shocked that he wasn’t there, but at the same time, they wanted the buses to leave right away. In the office, I called his mother’s cell, we waited a couple of extra minutes, and still, no Mike. The buses left and the counselors and staff exchanged a couple of “THANK THE LORD” memes. It truly felt like a miracle.

Probably about half an hour after the departure, the office door opened. Was it my boss? Was it another staff member?

No. It was Mike and his Mother, late to the field trip. I had to break the news to them saying “The buses already left for the trip, but I will talk to the director and see what she says.” And with the snap of my finger, Mike’s mother was willing to drive him into the city (30-35 minutes away). And Mike’s mom drove him downtown with the permission of the director. And his counselor lost it and everybody knew him missing the bus was too good to be true.

Thanks Mike… and thank you mom.

Personally, I knew it was too good to be true.

4. The girl who wanted to do “research” at Yale.

I remember this girl like it was yesterday, probably because she was the CRAZIEST camper of all time. I once worked at Yale for three weeks, which proved to be my most interesting camp experience. There was a girl and we shall call her *Margaret; first of all, Margaret had come late to camp two days after the start date, which isn’t common, but hey, we don’t discriminate if you came late. A camper originally from France, she had much to catch up on with the rigorous academics.

Every year, we always get this one kid who thinks he or she can bend the rules just for them and they play it off like they didn’t know what they were doing; Margaret was that camper.

A couple of days into the camp she seemed to be very confused; we’re only a gifted camp that offers academic classes and fun activities, what can be more confusing than that? It turned out that her parents had sent her to Yale so she could do science research. First of all, this camp barely has an affiliation with Yale (to be honest, we only use their facilities and that’s pretty much it). Secondly, what kind of research was she looking into doing? Like, isn’t that what college kids do, mind me this girl was only shy of 16 years of age?

Regardless, the end of camp came along. After cleaning their dorm rooms and packing up, the students cried as they left the best three weeks of their life. I saw Margaret hug her friends as she left with a smile, wearing the same outfit she wore for three weeks straight. Her counselor, and my beloved friend, was so glad that she was gone, mostly because she had been such a hassle not only to my friend, but to the whole entire camp staff.

As counselors, we were required to go through each of the rooms and inspect that all of them are relatively clean and that every child left with all of their belongings. However, Margaret’s room was one for the books. My friend/her counselor entered the room and was overpowered with a weird sort of smell. I don’t know what’s worse: the fact that the room smelled atrocious or that we weren’t surprised that it smelled like this. Nevertheless, my friend inspected the room. Everything seemed fine, until she got to the dressers; it seemed that fruit flies had congregated into this one area outside of the dressers. What could it be?

Being the good Samaritan she was, my friend opened the dresser … Inside she had found dirty feminine products collecting flies and etc. Literally, it was the GROSSEST THING I have ever heard of.

Until this day, I believe that smile that Margaret left camp with was sinister opposed to happy.

Was that her science project she had been working on for the past three weeks? We will never know.