First let’s just make something clear. I am your server not your servant.
I am here to make sure you have a meal on your table and anything you need to chow down. I am not here to wait on you hand and foot (cue the eye roll and sighing as if you were my only table).
That said, one person can only do so much so fast.
If you don’t appreciate a consistent server, head on down to Golden Corral where you can ... (hooray for self-serve).
No camping permitted in the restaurant.
I love having tables. It's what makes the money. But, when you are my first table when I clock on and I am still waiting on to exit the building as I clock off … Just eat your damn burrito and get on with your day.
We aren’t a babysitting service or a zoo.
Keep the kids cool and everything will be a-okay.
Please no dirty jokes, especially when you are on a date.
Not to me or your date. It is extremely awk for all parties involved.
Also, this is not a brothel.
PDA is best done short and extra sweet (macking down all over each other is not recommended).
Screaming at me about your food not being prepared to your liking is not okay. Take it up with the kitchen.
Take a chill pill, wait for a new plate and enjoy a comped ticket, ya filthy animal.
Join the 20 percent tippers and get some good karma later on. It will feel good trust me.
If I hook it up, you are welcome to too.
I gave you the Happy Hour special 20-minutes before because I wanted to be a “chill” server. Return the love with a solid tip.
Verbal tips won’t pay the bills.
I love a compliment. Who doesn’t? But let’s not stop there. Help a sister out!
There is nothing like running back and forth like the Roadrunner to grab item after item as it slowly pops into your mind. Let me hook it up and just make it a few stops. Less waiting for you, more time I have with my other tables and side work.
Don’t take your bad attitude out on us
Just let us bring you a margarita to drink it away. It’s 5 o’clock somewhere!
The game is called musical chairs, not musical tables
Finding the perfect table is totally understandable. I am a booth girl myself. But if we make sure to ask if you’re okay where you’re at, and then we find you roaming from table to table, it just adds unneeded confusion between hosts and servers. Nobody likes that.
For the love of everything holy do not roll in the joint with 15 minutes until close.
Think of that “close time” as more of a “lock up and go home time.”
Patience is a virtue.
We learned it as tots and it is still so true today.
Servers paying the tab. Say what?
It is not funny to joke that I will cover your tab when I ask if you’re ready for your check. I am a broke college kid serving on the side. Come on, people. And it will really make me feel some type of way if you actually “dine and dash.”
Be nice to those handling your food.
No, I am not and would never be a spitter, but being nice is the decent thing to do.
Keep grinding servers because let’s face it; we got to make that money.
