Being in a sorority is far from the easiest thing I’ve ever done in my life.

Greek Life is more than just Bid Day, Events, and Philanthropy. It can be stressful, you need to commit a substantial amount of time, and sometimes it feels like you’re completely alone in a group of 100 or so women. Being Greek is amazing, don’t get me wrong, and I’ve never once regretted the excitement I felt when I opened my bid. But I would be lying if I said the last three years were all rainbows and sunshine. There were often times that I contemplated whether or not being in Greek Life was the right thing for me. There were even times I felt like I was fooling everyone around me and that I shouldn’t have even been given a bid.

I came back to school this week ready to begin my final semester of college. I did not, however, come back to school excited to spend hours each day practicing for recruitment. That is, until during a group discussion, one of my sisters made a comment that really opened my eyes to the last three years.

“What you put into this house is what you’ll get out of it.”

Okay, I know this is like the most obvious thing someone could ever say and if you’re reading this you’re probably thinking “Yeah, no shit, Phoebe, that literally goes for anything you could ever be involved in…” but just run with me for a second on this one. For the last three years, I’ve spent so much of my time and energy worrying about how and why I didn’t feel like I “fit in” with my sisters. Why was I always the black sheep of the group? Did people actually like me or were they nice to me when they saw me out because I was their sister and that’s just what you do?

For three years I’ve been plagued with this self-deprecating thought process and it wasn’t until these last few days, and the comment of my sister that made me take a look in the mirror and realize I wasn’t happy in my house because I wasn’t trying. I wasn’t putting the effort into this fraternity that the organization and my sisters rightly deserved; I wasn’t getting anything out of Greek life, because I wasn’t putting anything into it. Realizing this completely changed my outlook on not only the women around me, but it also helped change my opinion about myself.

I’ve spent too much time focusing on the negatives of my house that I forgot to celebrate all of the amazing positives I’ve gained out of the last three years. The biggest and most important gift I’ve gained from my sisters is being blessed with the biggest support system I could ever fathom. Whether you’re best friends or not, your sisters are always there for you. I went through a lot last spring and my sisters were there for me more than I ever realized. Whether it was bringing me cheese curds (shout out to my amazing grand-little for that one), to busting into my door to show me the latest Vine that I could not miss, or even sitting with me for hours while I poured my heart out to them my sisters have always been there.

So it’s true, you get out what you put in, and while it sounds obvious and even a little bit cliché, it’s the greatest advice I never even knew I needed.