What Does Being An Independent Woman Mean?

What Does Being An Independent Woman Mean?

Why She Can Have a Man and be Superwoman
378
views

When I was 7-years-old, my family and I went to visit my Aunt Darlene in Dallas, Texas. During that summer, I found out what it meant to be an independent woman.

My aunt has been an entrepreneur ever since I could remember. Her home seemed like a mansion, including a beautiful built-in pool in the backyard. She is the leader of her own non-profit organization, an author, and an advocate for protecting women involved in domestic violent situations. She also has great style! In the eyes of a 7-year-old, she was the ultimate diva. My aunt worked hard to become successful and would occasionally reward herself with a glass of wine and a new pair of Christian Louboutin pumps. She made these things happen for herself without a man.

I was hooked on having this kind of lifestyle. As I got older, I conditioned myself to believe that the harder I worked, the more successful I would become. I never wanted to depend on a man to do much of anything for me, because I thought that the only way to be completely happy with my accomplishments was if I obtained those accomplishments on my own. I didn’t want to be characterized as the damsel in distress who needed saving. But what happens to this mentality when the "independent woman" enters a relationship?

Many women like to be portrayed as if they do not need a man. Well, ladies, I hate taking out the trash, I know nothing about fixing appliances, and I freak out over the sight of bugs. No, I am not saying that this is all men are good for – but they do come in handy for those particular things!

Women are capable of being independent, but also dependent on a man to be the support system that she needs. A major characteristic of the independent woman is the thought that she believes that she has to be the strong one. This may be true, but no one said that she had to be strong alone. Additionally, having a man does not take away the credibility of being independent.

The independent woman is still a woman. She can work her butt off, command a room when she speaks, chase her career, and do it all in five inch heels. Nonetheless, this woman also knows that it is fine to ask her man for advice or to listen to him, because in most situations he is the voice of reason. Letting him take the lead doesn’t mean that you’re giving up on your independence. It's simply a sign of compromising, working together, and showing him that you trust his judgement.

Maturing from that 7-year-old girl to a 21-year-old woman, I realized that my independence wasn’t determined by a man. My aunt, who was once that single independent woman, is now happily married -- and I still look at her as an awesome Superwoman who gets the job done.

Her submission to her husband didn’t make her less of a woman. I believe it made her stronger. She’s still beautiful, powerful, hardworking, and influential. So when the right man comes along, he will only enhance the characteristics already instilled within you that make you an independent woman.

Cover Image Credit: popsugar.com

Popular Right Now

An Open Letter to the Person Who Still Uses the "R Word"

Your negative associations are slowly poisoning the true meaning of an incredibly beautiful, exclusive word.
231720
views

What do you mean you didn't “mean it like that?" You said it.

People don't say things just for the hell of it. It has one definition. Merriam-Webster defines it as, "To be less advanced in mental, physical or social development than is usual for one's age."

So, when you were “retarded drunk" this past weekend, as you claim, were you diagnosed with a physical or mental disability?

When you called your friend “retarded," did you realize that you were actually falsely labeling them as handicapped?

Don't correct yourself with words like “stupid," “dumb," or “ignorant." when I call you out. Sharpen your vocabulary a little more and broaden your horizons, because I promise you that if people with disabilities could banish that word forever, they would.

Especially when people associate it with drunks, bad decisions, idiotic statements, their enemies and other meaningless issues. Oh trust me, they are way more than that.

I'm not quite sure if you have had your eyes opened as to what a disabled person is capable of, but let me go ahead and lay it out there for you. My best friend has Down Syndrome, and when I tell people that their initial reaction is, “Oh that is so nice of you! You are so selfless to hang out with her."

Well, thanks for the compliment, but she is a person. A living, breathing, normal girl who has feelings, friends, thousands of abilities, knowledge, and compassion out the wazoo.

She listens better than anyone I know, she gets more excited to see me than anyone I know, and she works harder at her hobbies, school, work, and sports than anyone I know. She attends a private school, is a member of the swim team, has won multiple events in the Special Olympics, is in the school choir, and could quite possibly be the most popular girl at her school!

So yes, I would love to take your compliment, but please realize that most people who are labeled as “disabled" are actually more “able" than normal people. I hang out with her because she is one of the people who has so effortlessly taught me simplicity, gratitude, strength, faith, passion, love, genuine happiness and so much more.

Speaking for the people who cannot defend themselves: choose a new word.

The trend has gone out of style, just like smoking cigarettes or not wearing your seat belt. It is poisonous, it is ignorant, and it is low class.

As I explained above, most people with disabilities are actually more capable than a normal human because of their advantageous ways of making peoples' days and unknowingly changing lives. Hang out with a handicapped person, even if it is just for a day. I can one hundred percent guarantee you will bite your tongue next time you go to use the term out of context.

Hopefully you at least think of my friend, who in my book is a hero, a champion and an overcomer. Don't use the “R Word". You are way too good for that. Stand up and correct someone today.

Cover Image Credit: Kaitlin Murray

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Dear America, We Can Step Forward As A Country If We Stop Believing That Only One Belief Is Valid

It's time to promote unity and emphasize our commonalities because only through unity can we step forward as a country.

106
views

Dear America,

2018 was a year of political strife and conflict. The left and the right fought constantly. Republicans and Democrats blamed each other for the tiniest mistakes, and there were only a small number of successful bipartisan deals. Politicians and citizens alike seemed more concerned with sticking to party platforms, even ones they truly didn't believe in, rather than compromising with the other side to improve our society.Yet all this name-calling and hatred — what does it do in the end? What does it accomplish?

We've only seen an increased polarization of American politics and an expanded hostility towards "the other side." We don't consider the well-being of each and every person in America and the bettering of our society, or the building of a stronger world for our children and grandchildren.

We spend so much time insulting each other's political beliefs that we forget probably the most important fact that links us all together: We are all human. We all share the same basic needs, the same struggles, the same moments of happiness and sadness.

And yet we are willing to put our similarities aside and only focus on our differences. We are willing to thrust ourselves into the deep anger and loathing that comes in attacking those different from us. We are willing to parry insults behind the safety of a phone screen and forget all about what makes us alike. And we are willing to gloss over the fact that we have more similarities than differences.

SEE ALSO: Dear Trump, Thanks For Transforming Me Into A Responsible, Educated Citizen

Yes, political beliefs make a person. Political beliefs define the values, ideas and thoughts of a person. But sometimes, we have to reach over those beliefs, as hard as that may be, and focus on the bigger picture at hand. What will insulting someone because of those beliefs do? It definitely won't change their views or make them see things from your point of view.

It's sad and frustrating that this endless fighting doesn't even occur between two countries or two governments or two nation-states. Instead, we see arguments and strife between two family members, two neighbors or even two strangers, all living in the same community and under the same government, all sharing more similarities than differences.

We need to stop focusing so much on singular ideas. We need to stop believing in the close-minded idea that only one thought is the best thought. And instead of wasting energy trying to change other's opinions, we need to use that energy and time to promote unity and emphasize our commonalities.

These past few years have truly divided America. Let's make 2019 a year of unity, because only through unity can we step forward as a country.

Related Content

Facebook Comments