The older I get, the more aware I become of the fact that words mean very little in the end. It’s all about actions and what they mean to a person. During my younger years, there would be times I’d get in trouble and have to apologize and I’d hear that “I’m sorry” doesn’t always mean very much. I didn’t quite grasp what it meant since I thought feeling genuinely sorry was all I needed to be forgiven, but I was wrong. As I grew up, I learned that those two words were just a start. To show that you were really as sorry as you said you were, you needed to show it by performing some caring act for that person or showing that you could be trusted. It makes a lot of sense, since absolutely everyone knows how to speak those words, but not everyone necessarily knows how to show they mean it.
Words and their weight come in all forms beyond just being sorry. You can say that you miss someone and believe you mean it, but how do you go about showing that person your feelings match your statement? You attempt to make plans, you try to follow through, and if for whatever reason you can’t, you try again. We all know too well what it feels like to run into somebody you haven’t seen in awhile and to say you need to hang out and catch up but never actually do it. Why do we say it if we don’t mean it? It feels polite, and maybe it is, but it’s not truthful the majority of the time. Therefore, when I see someone or receive a message where that person is proclaiming they miss me, it makes me more at ease when they ask for my availability because then I know it’s not just a courtesy—it’s a fact and a priority to them. You're not earning brownie points just by sharing that you wish they were around more if you're not actually trying to make sure that they get to be around you.
We can say things that feel like promises or that turn out to be little white lies. “I’ll do it later,” or “yeah, maybe!” can give false hope when you know full well you have no intention of carrying out a specific act. I’d be a hypocrite if I said I wasn’t guilty of it. We might mean to do things in that given moment, but as time goes on, it moves lower and lower on our personal to-do lists until we eventually forget it was there in the first place. It doesn’t make it right, but it shows plainly how little it must have meant to us. It can definitely be easier to make these vague but slightly hopeful statements, but if you know you don't have any intention of following through, you might as well say so.
If you want to make a change, do so with actions. It’s nice to share your feelings with kind words, but you should be sure to follow through to ensure the validity of what you’re saying. If you love someone and tell them how you feel repeatedly, don’t leave them in the dark feeling alone. If you miss them, be active in making time apart from you busy life to see them, even if it’s just for an hour or so. Be straightforward. Politeness can be great, but if you don’t care, then don’t waste their time. Be honest about how you feel, because if it’s the truth, you won’t hesitate but to show how you feel by what you do... You’ll just do it.
