Let me first start by saying this: I feel like whenever I tell people that my brother goes to boarding school, their first thought is, "oh boy, what did he do in high school to get sent there?" The great thing about it is, he chose to go. He had a really rough first year at school in Houston and determined this would be the best thing for him. It's been a really amazing thing to witness, but also makes it that much harder at the same time.
It's been weird, I feel like the further apart we have gotten, the closer we've become as brothers and, quite honestly, best friends. My brother left for boarding school in Connecticut my junior year of high school. I went from driving him to school each day, to having nobody with me at all. I hated it. I missed the heck out of him and didn't want to admit it because he had made such a big decision to go to high school in a different state, while I hardly was open to the idea of going to a college in another state. It was hard for everyone in our family to let him leave, and even harder when he didn't enjoy the school he had chosen. After a few months away, he transferred mid way through the year to the perfect school for him in Rhode Island. It was hard to see how happy he was, because all I was thinking about was how much I wish he could be home.
One of the biggest things I've learned from my brother being away is wow, I freakin miss him. I knew I would, of course, but not like I have the past few years. You really do take for granted the amount of time you get to spend with your siblings before you're off on your own; even more so when one of your siblings leaves before you. It's not only the picture perfect kind of missing you would think of, of the good times and quality time spent together, but I also miss the unnecessary sibling bickering over the small things, or just small ways we could get on each others nerves until one of us realizes we're being dumb. It's everything that I miss, not just the good; that's what it means to be brothers.
Being in college only a few hours from home probably wouldn't be as hard being away from him if he wasn't in a completely different state. It makes it almost impossible to get time to see him. We're both on entirely different schedules, and I think the most that our time at home lines up is Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter. Sure, at first that may seem like plenty of time, but the more I realize that this time is only going to become less and less over the next few years absolutely kills me. While it has been getting harder and harder as time goes on to be as connected as I would like, it also makes me appreciate my time with him that I do get that much more.
A few weeks ago, I got the opportunity to go to Rhode Island to see my brother walk across the stage at graduation. It's crazy to me. I still can't believe the courage he held in the decision to go to boarding school in a state thousands of miles away. I wouldn't ever admit it to his face, you know, being the "cool" older brother, but damn, I never could have gained the confidence and courage to do something like that as young as he was. Heck, I'm in college now and I would still be hesitant to do something like that looking back. I tried to tell him how proud I was of him throughout the whole weekend, but man, I can't say it enough.
At his school, each of the graduating students got to write something they wanted the crowd to hear. Something about their story, the things they learned or just something they wanted to say. When my brother gave me a quick mentioned in his, I lost it. I cried like a baby. And it wasn't because it was an extremely emotional event he mentioned, but just because I'm so damn proud of him for the maturity he's shown leaving home and the incredible future I know he has in front of him.
My mom said that the two things she said going into marriage with my dad were this: "I'm never moving to Houston," which worked out well for a few years... and "I'm never going to send my kids to boarding school," and that obviously fell through. But I know she is happy we moved to Houston and thanks God every day that my brother went to boarding school, because it's been such a blessing to our family to experience something so impactful. It has changed my family's, and especially brother's, lives and perspectives for the better.
To close, I would just like to say, to anyone with kids going to boarding school, a sibling or even a friend, it's an incredible decision that I feel gets overlooked. I can't imagine making the decision to live on my own so young and so far away from home, but the maturity and courage I've seen it place in my brother has been astounding and I don't want it to ever be overlooked.
