Friendships are hard, especially in college. Coming to a new city, surrounded by people who seem to have found their way in while you’re still on the outside looking in -- that’s hard. It’s difficult to find people that you can instantly click with and who end up understanding you. Over the years, I have learned to become a bit selective, choosing to invest in long-term friendships rather than short-term friendships. I have learned to surround myself with people who inspire me, listen to me and believe in me.
I have always struggled with meeting new people. Sometimes I just don’t know what to say or how to begin to say it. I was always too scared to further initiate conversations because I didn’t know how far was too far. I let people come to me, knowing that if they came back often enough, then I was OK and I could start going forward with the friendship. I ended up liking my solitude better because it was easier than to constantly be putting myself out there. I shied away from people who tried so many times because of fear.
But I have slowly begun to ease up and have stopped overthinking about people and what they might think. I have started to let go of that fear and have started to let myself take chances with people. They may have not all worked out the way I would have hoped, but the ones that have stuck around have been blessings. With them, I have learned that I will always have someone to count on, someone to laugh with and someone to watch out for me. I don’t know how I have gotten so lucky with all the people I have had the pleasure of meeting.
Friendships are important. Not just because they fulfill your need for human relation, but because they end up being the hand-selected few that you know you can count on when you need them to be there for you. They are the ones you go to when you need advice. The ones who spend weekends with you. The ones who take you to see places you have always dreamed of. The ones who always know how to make you laugh, and most importantly, the ones who always know what to say. Those are my people. The ones who have made their way in and stayed.
So, if you’re feeling any bit of indecisiveness and don’t know whether you should talk to a person, just do it. Don’t be afraid to try, or of making new friends. It’s not as scary as it seems. Talk to more people and let people get to know you, because you never know, you might just find your person.
