In my time on social media, I have seen more than a few “Dear Future Husband” posts. While I definitely can understand the appeal, I never really connected with the idea of writing a letter to a future spouse. Here are some reasons why this way of thinking just isn’t for me.

1. It might not happen.

I might never get married. I might not ever want to get married. Statistically, I probably won’t stay married. I might even get married two or three different times. Whichever of those options happen, I will be completely fine. As long as I’m happy, it doesn’t really matter, whether or not I have a ring on my finger.

2. I’m more concerned with my own future.

Rather than focusing on someone else who may or may not even exist, my energy is better spent thinking about my own goals. I don’t have any control over another person, but I do have some control over my own future. I’d rather spend that time focusing on my personal or career goals than worrying about someone else.

3. I need to better myself.

It doesn’t do me any good to waste time setting expectations for another person. I sure hope that if I do get married, my spouse doesn’t have a giant wish list I’ll never fulfill. I would rather set expectations for myself, so that if I do get married, I’ll be better equipped to handle it. My happiness will come from myself, not another person, so that’s where my focus should be.

4. It takes away from right now.

While I’m sure my future holds some amazing things, there are also some amazing things happening in my life now. In 10 or 20 years, I’ll have just as many problems as I currently do, if not more. So I’d rather appreciate my life right now, because it will never be like this again.

5. I’m just tired of seeing it.

Quite frankly, I think it’s boring. I can appreciate the idea, I’d rather just do me.