I like to joke that when it comes to guys I only have three standards; he must have bigger thighs than me, he doesn’t wear cargo shorts, and he has to believe in aliens. (OK, not necessarily green creatures that fly in UFOs, but at least some sort of alternate life form in our very large galaxy.) Now, I know what many of you might be thinking, that I’m crazy and picky and ridiculous. No wonder why I’m still single, right?

The thing is, I enjoy joking about these ridiculous ‘standards’ I have for my potential future husband because behind them lies a more realistic set of standards. Those are the ones I like to keep to myself, mostly because they are subject to change, but also because they’re pretty high as well. Yes, I am picky, I am the typical low-maintenance girl with high-maintenance expectations, but I am not going to lower my ridiculous standards out of fear that I’ll spend forever alone and neither should you.

(Although my mom believes that I will be single forever due to my above statements, I believe that they will only allow the right guy into my life).

To the person who first said, “There are plenty of fish in the sea;” mathematically you are correct, but realistically you’re wrong. This is because out of all those fish in that sea, there are only about a handful that will fit your set of standards. So, this means, quit swimming around with that common tuna and go find rainbow fish. He or she is out there somewhere, I promise.

We were not put on this earth to settle for just OK or good enough. So, why do we keep finding ourselves stuck in content and safe relationships? If they do not interest you, don’t waste your time. If they don’t laugh at your bad jokes, don’t waste their time. Sounds pretty simple to me.

Sure, this is easy for me to say, I have been single for over two years now and during that time I have learned two things; how to love myself and what I am looking for. Maybe that is why I won’t settle for just any guy who buys me ice cream. Yes, I may sound a little conceited and a lot crazy, but at least I understand my standards now.

The truth is, yes, I am hard to please and I like to joke about having high standards, but if I met my soulmate while he was wearing cargo shorts I’m sure I could look past it. Actually, I would probably make him change first, but you get the idea.

Didn’t someone once say, “Never settle for anything less than you deserve?” Because what if you miss out on that beautiful waffle cone with sprinkles just because you already settled for a plain cake cone? OK, that might only make sense in my head, but what I am trying to say is be patient. The time will come when God will send the person who fits all those crazy standards into your life. But for now, keep being an independent with high standards and expectations.