It’s no secret that females tend to resort to passive aggressive comments or actions when they’re upset, angry, jealous, etc.
I get it. It’s common for girls to be taught at a young age that showing anger isn’t considered “ladylike”, which is only one of many issues with gender socialization in our society. As a result, girls grow up feeling more comfortable dressing up their aggressive comments as simply “innocent” talk.
However, this “innocent” talk fools no one. Girls know when a passive aggressive comment has been made. Most of the time we respond to these comments with a similarly passive aggressive comment or we ignore it as if it never happened just to later fume about it in private.
I believe it’s time for this to come to an end.
I was raised in a household where we all told each other exactly how we felt and didn’t hide behind false intentions. We owned up to everything we said. However, I have had to learn to hold my tongue with many other women when comments have been made to me to avoid being accused of being “crazy” and “making something out of nothing”.
If real emotions are never brought to the surface, there will be no way of mending relationships. By purposely pretending your comment was innocent and didn’t mean exactly what it actually meant- you leave no room for real communication.
Communication becomes quite literally impossible because the one making the passive aggressive comment is already in a position of feeling something such as jealousy or anger and in no way wants to give you any power.
Therefore, if you’re the one the comment was directed at and you try to stand up for yourself, the one who made the comment will never admit the true meaning of their message and pretend that you are actually the one trying to start an altercation. Sometimes they will even start acting like they’re a victim of your "accusations".
I’m tired of having to put a smile on my face and act like nothing is wrong with someone who has made comments or done actions in spite of me, just because they were too coward to say how they really felt.
Women are hurting themselves by doing this and promoting the idea that we must be perfect humans at all times. This will never improve if we don’t even just take a step in the direction of starting to say things we actually mean instead of trying to creatively mask them.
Not only that, but the phrase “women hate each other” will never go away because unfortunately, it rings true to some extent.
Women rant about other women, but the moment the woman they’re ranting about comes along, they put a smile on their face and act like they’re best friends. This is due to the fact that the nasty comments that are made are never upfront so it makes it difficult for anyone to resolve an issue that hasn’t even been directly stated.
If we all just started to take passive aggressive comments out of our dialogue and replace them with comments that clearly state what we think and how we feel, it would be much easier to pinpoint negative feelings or even problems in relationships so that we could resolve them.
Wouldn’t it be nice to live in a world where we didn't have to feel fake when being nice to someone?
Yes, relationships would take more work, but they would also be much stronger.
